K is for Komodo Dragon

I've done nice lizard in I is for Iguana so it's swiftly on to nasty lizard. The Komodo Dragon is the biggest and baddest lizard doing the rounds on the lizard block. If the Iguana will casually sip a cocktail on a balcony, the Komodo will guzzle a pint of super strong lager and then smash the glass in yer face.

This member of the monitor lizard family, is probably the nearest thing you will find to a dinosaur. It can grow as large as 10 feet long and weight 150 lb. Fortunately, you are not likely to come across one in the United States, or indeed Britain, unless you are close to a nuclear facility.

 Komodo dragons are fun at the zoo (Bodlina)

The Komodo is only found on the Indonesian islands of Komodo, Rinca, Flores, Gili Motang, and Padar. Its size is due to a phenomenon called "island gigantism." There are no other carnivorous animals, so the meat eaters fill the void. Island gigantism is found in other species such as rugby players from Tonga.

Attacks on humans are documented but rare. You are in more danger from a croc. Still you are well advised not to shoot it the bird. The Komodo dragon is able to see as far away as 980 feet.

The Komodo dragon uses its tongue to smell and is a voracious eater. Although they eat mostly carrion, they will sneak up to prey and attack. They can hone in on the smell of a dead or dying animal from a distance of six miles. It's a good idea not to die anywhere near a Komodo dragon.

If you are unwise enough to do lunch with a Komodo, avoid anywhere with Michelin stars.  In fact there is probably nowhere you could take them, apart from Applebee's.

"Komodo dragons eat by tearing large chunks of flesh and swallowing them whole while holding the carcass down with their forelegs. For smaller prey up to the size of a goat, their loosely articulated jaws, flexible skulls, and expandable stomachs allow them to swallow prey whole," states Wikipedia. They can swallow 80 percent of their body weight in one sitting and like to cover their meal in the red saliva that is often blood-tinged, because their teeth are almost completely covered by gingival tissue that is naturally lacerated during feeding.

Mating is also a less than pleasant affair. The males fight for the females, frequently vomiting and defecating as the ground is prepared for the fight.

"The winner of the fight will then flick his long tongue at the female to gain information about her receptivity," states Wikipedia.

Perhaps vexed that he didn't say it with flowers - merely defecation and chucking up -  the female will attack the male with her claws during mating.

The whole Komodo thing really makes me think wistfully of donkeys. Komodos don't even make good handbags, apparently.

Useless Fact About the Komodo Dragon

Phil Bronstein, the former husband of Casino star Sharon Stone, was bitten on the foot by one at Los Angeles zoo.  The keeper had told him to take off his white shoes and socks, because they could excite the animal as they were the same color as the white rats that were lunch. Bronstein had to have several tendons in his foot surgically reattached.

What Not to Say to a Komodo Dragon

Do you want me to take my shoes off?

J is for Jackass

A jackass is a male donkey. Unlike many of the animals I have featured in this A to Z challenge such as sharks and hippos, most of us have experienced this animal at close quarters, at some time or another. We may have even ridden on one. When you grew up in Britain and the highlight of your summer is a chilly day at Weston-Super-Mud, the donkey ride may have been the highlight of your childhood possibly.

At least until the donkey refused to move. And you ended up with a complex that was with you for the rest of your life. I digress. Candy floss is also a very traumatic thing.

(Oscar Panther)

There are actually 40 million domestic donkeys in the world and they are seen as the poor man's fashion accessory, even more so than owning a Yugo.

A male donkey or ass is called a jack, a female is called a jenny or jennet. Jack donkeys and female horses are used to produce mules. All of them can be pretty stubborn, a quality I see as admirable. If you know a couple called Jack and Jenny, you can bet they'll be asses. I'm not sure where Jill comes into the picture.

Donkeys have been domesticated since 3000 BC or thereabouts. The ancestors of the modern donkey are the Nubian and Somalian subspecies of African wild ass. In ancient Egypt the number you owned was a sign of prosperity.

Donkeys are widely used in agriculture and even in warfare. The New Zealand Medical Corps used donkeys to rescue wounded soldiers from the battlefield at Gallipoli, during World War One. The Italian army, never the finest fighting force since the days of ancient Rome, used them widely. Although it's said an army marches on its stomach, in this case the soldiers marched on their asses, because the donkeys were also used for meat.

The Jewish people wouldn't approve because donkeys aren't considered Kosher. But they play a prominent role in the Bible.

An Old Testament prophesy, has the Messiah arriving on a donkey: "Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, Lowly and riding on a donkey, A colt, the foal of a donkey!" it says.

"With the rise of Christianity, some believers came to see the cross-shaped marking present on donkeys' backs and shoulders as a symbol of the animal's bearing Jesus into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, " states Wikipedia. "During the Middle Ages, Europeans used hairs from this cross (or contact with a donkey) as folk remedies to cure illness, including measles and whooping cough.

Donkeys (Rylee Isitt)

In the 15th Century one doctor even listed riding backwards on a donkey as a cure for scorpion stings, tempting me to make the obvious ass backwards joke.

There are too many references to donkeys in literature and film to list here. Shakespeare derided them as stupid in a Midsummer Night's Dream; Cervantes Don Quixote puts a better spin on them and the dour Eeyore in Winnie the Poo is perhaps the most famous literary donkey of them all.

Donkeys also feature in politics. Opponents and satirists depicted U.S. President Andrew Jackson as a "Jackass." Jackson liked the insult and the donkey later became the symbol of the Democratic party. See J is for Jacksonian, Jackass.

Useless Fact About the Jackass

The word donkey replaced ass from 18th century, as society became more polite. Rooster also replaced cock at this time.

What Not to Say to a Jackass

Are you feeling a little hoarse?

I is for Iguana

It's not much fun when you find yourself waking up in the night screaming and crawling up the walls. But this happened to me last night, I afraid to say.

There was a voice in my head - the same one that usually goes on about chocolate at 2 a.m. But this time it had a deranged tone. It informed me of something I had known for some time but had not dared to admit, for the shame of bringing it out of my subconscious and exposing it for the world to see.

Iguanas at a zoo in Sweden (Bjoertvedt)

I had made it to I on the A to Z challenge without featuring a single reptile....

Pause as the full horror of those words sinks in. My blood runs cold. Then I move swiftly onto Iguanas.

Actually I like Iguanas. They are funky and come in all shapes, sizes and colors. I would gladly swap a dog that is still hyperactive notwithstanding the strategic removal of certain parts, for one of these cool reptiles which are not scary in the slightest.

The Green Iguana Society informs me: "Because reptiles are vertebrates, they are chordates. Phyla are also divided up into many smaller groups, called classes."

Whaaatt??

Anyhow. Did I tell you they are funky.

The Iguana is a type of herbivorous lizards  that lives in tropical parts of Mexico, Central America and islands such as Fiji and Tonga in the the Pacific as well as the Caribbean. This lounge lizard has impeccable taste and can be found supping cocktails in places such as Martinique.

The genus was first described back in 1768 by Austrian naturalist Josephus Nicolaus Laurenti in his popular best seller Specimen Medicum, Exhibens Synopsin Reptilium Emendatam cum Experimentis circa Venena.

Um OK. The two main types are the Green Iguana and the Lesser Antillean iguana, which is endangered due to the destruction of its habitat.

The Galapagos Islands of South America are known for their distinctive iguanas. Back in the 19th Century naturalist Charles Darwin found so many of them here, he remarked it was impossible to pitch a tent because there were so many iguanas. A distinctive pink morph was identified.

Darwin described the Galapagos land iguana as "ugly animals, of a yellowish orange beneath, and of a brownish-red colour above: from their low facial angle they have a singularly stupid appeararance."

This description makes me wonder whether he was not actually, in fact, making notes in 7-Eleven.

Useless Fact About Iguanas

Some species have a symbiotic relationship with the local bird population; the birds remove parasite and ticks, making life a good deal better of the iguanas and providing a tasty lunch for the birds.

What Not to Say to an Iguana

Can I borrow your scales?

H is for Hippopotamus

Hippos can be jolly chaps and chapesses at the movies and in entertainment. The Disney film Fantasia featured a ballerina hippopotamus dancing to the opera La Gioconda, while the hippopotamus characters "Happy Hippos" were created in 1988 by the French designer Andre Roche.

This idea of cuddly hippos, in reality, is far of the mark. Hippos are big, bad and dangerous to know. They are also very ugly and one time at the zoo when a hippo unleashed its vast mouth to yawn served to remind yours truly and onlookers within a radius of two miles that hippos have halitosis the like of nobody's business. Don't waste your money on Altoids, folks.

(Peter Lindren)

The purpose of my A to Z series on animals seems to be to gross out people as much as possible, although, I didn't start out with that intention. Still from baboons' bums to sharks cannibalising each other in the womb, it seems to have happened hasn't it?

I'm not sure if I can better that with hippos, although I can confirm hippos mark their territory by spinning their tails while defecating to distribute their excrement over a greater area. They pee backwards for the same reason. Realtors beware. If you are trying to sell a house to a hippo, run for the hills long before he tells you he'll buy.

Hippos live in sub Saharan Africa and are big, weighing 3 to 9 tons. In fact, only two land animals are bigger - the elephant and the rhinoceros.

Although many people think they are related to pigs, given their resemblance to pigs, their closest living relatives are, in fact,  cetaceans which include whales and porpoises, although the species went their separate ways 55 million years ago.

Hippos are also rather badass. They are very aggressive animals, even though they are herbivores. Think of the most scary vegan you know, and add 200 Big Macs (stuffed full of soy), permi PMS and a devotion to Charles Manson.

Hippos kill about 200 people a year, which is more than double that of sharks, although more people are killed by elephants. They even scare the hell out of crocodiles. Wikipedia notes they are "very aggressive towards humans, whom they commonly attack whether in boats or on land with no apparent provocation. They are widely considered to be one of the most dangerous large animals in Africa."

Zulu warriors preferred to be as brave as a hippopotamus; even lions were not considered as fearsome.

Another notable fact about hippos is men and lady hippos just about look the same; which has led a few foolhardy entrepreneurs to market hippo handbags to females, with varying degrees of success.

Useless Fact About the Hippopotamus

Infamous Colombian drug warlord Pablo Escobar, a man who brought in more money than the GDP of Colombia through coke sales, also had a thing for importing hippos.  Managing the aggressive hippos, commonly referred to as the "cocaine hippos," has become a major issue for the Colombian government since the death of Escobar because the big old hippos are on the rampage with no known predators.

What Not To Say to a Hippo

You really float my boat

G is for Great White Shark

Certainly regaining the momentum for the A to Z challenge was proving difficult. After the weekend high of proving the doubters wrong and successfully hanging four sets of blinds, there is really little left in life to aspire to. Still I go on. Sigh.

I will endeavor. In the words of Margaret Thatcher who sadly died today: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

Margaret Thatcher was somewhat ruthless but effective. As an animal she would probably be a Great White Shark.

The only time I have ever seen Margaret Thatcher was in the House of Commons tea room. I saw a figure who looked vaguely familiar, albeit a shadow of the woman who had loomed large across the eighties. She was frail but when she caught my eye there was the same steeliness. The look a Great White gives you when you are trapped in a cage under the sea.

The Great White is among the largest of sharks. The largest individuals known to have approached or exceeded 6 m (20 ft) in length. They are associated with the waters off California, Mexico, South Africa and Australia as well as other places such as Japan and Chile.

According to a recent study, California great whites have migrated to an area between Baja California in Mexico and Hawaii known as the White Shark Café. You probably don't want to wind up here as you may open up the menu and find you are on it.

Although this big bad fish has a big bad rap, humans are not at the top of its menu. For example, research in the Mediterranean has shown there have been 31 confirmed attacks against humans in the last two centuries, most of which were non-fatal.  Often sharks prefer a "test bite" to see how yummy we are - or not. Which makes me feel much better..

The Great White's scary reputation is in no small part due to Peter Benchley's best selling novel Jaws and Steven Spielberg's 1975 film of the same name that gave the great white shark the image of being a "man eater" in the public mind. In reality far more humans are killed by angry hamsters.

Who can forget the scene when they are out there alone with the mad Irish captain waiting for the mother of all sharks to attack.

Useless Fact About Great Whites

They'll eat just about anything that moves including fellow Great Whites. Cannibalism starts early. The unborn sharks participate in intrauterine cannibalism; stronger pups consume their weaker mates. According to reports a 3 m (9.8 ft) long great white shark was nearly bitten into two by a reportedly 6 m (20 ft) long great white shark in Stradbroke Island, near Brisbane in Australia.

What Not to Say to  Great White

Want to be my womb mate.


Forget the goldfish bowl. You're going to need a bigger boat....

F is for Flying Squirrel

F is traditionally a phase in the A-Z challenge when the initial enthusiasm dies, fewer people start hopping and commenting and it's the first time you find yourself thinking f it....

Traditionally in these kinds of scenarios, we regroup, herd together the few remaining brain cells that are left and try to cobble together a few lines about flying squirrels. Rude not to really...

In my research on flying squirrels I draw lightly on flyingsquirrels.com which was conceived and developed  to make people more aware of "North America's two species of these fascinating, nocturnal, tree dwelling, forest dependent gliding mammals."

Also Steve Patterson from flyingsquirrels.com says if you don't cite him he'll get all squirrely.

"Leave the copying of other folk's work to the 'Homer and Bart Simpsons" of this world. Plagarism will hurt YOU far more than anyone else!" warns Steve, making me wonder if he has an army of flying squirrels at his disposal poised to clinically attack the nuts of evil plagirisers, as effectively as Veruca Salt is dealt with by the squirrels in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Steve's love of flying squirrels may not be universal. "Flying squirrel damage includes accumulated droppings, urine stains, chewing and gnawing on wood, and degradation of insulation.," warns one pest control website. Flying squirrels may look cute but they don't make great pets.

Flying squirrels don't really fly either, at least not like birds. They glide between trees They are smaller than the grey squirrels we usually see squinting evilly at us from trees and can be found in North America and Siberia. The direction and speed of the squirrels in midair is varied by changing the positions of its two arms and legs, largely controlled by small cartilaginous wrist bones. Wikipedia states flying squirrels only need to attend flying school for a few weeks to get their wings.

"At birth, flying squirrels are mostly hairless, apart from their whiskers, and most of their senses are not present. By week five of their lives, they are almost fully developed. At that point, they can respond to their environment and start to develop a mind of their own. Through the upcoming weeks of their lives, they practice leaping and gliding. After two and a half months, their gliding skills are perfected, they are ready to leave their nest and are capable of independent survival."

It now occurs to me I am really rather bored with flying squirrels.

Useless Fact About Flying Squirrels.

They have been known to fly as far as 90 meters (295 feet). This makes them great for blog hopping.

What Not To Say to a Flying Squirrel

Any chance of an upgrade?

E is for Emu

The Emu is a large flightless bird that lives in Australia. Whenever I have seen them in a zoo, I have been rather glad they have been on the other side of the fence. The Emu has a beady eye and a pecky beak. It would gladly take a stab at you for the hell of it.

Feeling peckish? (LT Shears)

As it happens, the Emu loomed large and terrifying over my childhood thanks to a rather unfunny man called Rod Hull who spent much of his life with his hand up the backside of a puppet called Emu that attacked folks on live TV.

Later on there was speculation that Hull was a bit pervy and used Emu to grope people. I mentioned this in passing in a previous blog.

In his biography the ex darts player, Eric Bristow, who was admittedly seeking publicity, told the Sun, Hull was a pervert.

"He used the puppet to feel up women and stick his hand between people's legs. It was out of order," said Bristow, who went on to launch into a diatribe about how he would knock him out cold on live TV if his "f..... silly bird" came anywhere near him.

Hull drew 11 million viewers at the peak of his fame with his show. He died penniless in 1999 after he fell off a roof during a botched repair.

The Emu is the second tallest bird in the world after the Ostrich, another bird that can't fly, thank God.

Emus, by their nature, are curious birds who Emus do not sleep through the night but get their kips in several short stints sitting down. Emus are farmed for their meat, oil and leather. The toe and claw of an Emu are 15 centimetres wide and their feet alone remind me of those of a raptor in Jurassic Park.

Useless Fact About an Emu.

Females are more aggressive and angry than males during the courting period, often fighting one another off for access to mates. Scientists have found thise behavior in few other places outside the Emu population of Eastern Australia, and some nightclubs in the north of England.

What Not to Say to An Emu

Bet ya can't peck me baby.

D is for Duck Billed Platypus

The DBP is something of a WTF creature, if you know what I mean. The platypus lives in Eastern Australia and is quirky in the way you will only find in a country where folks throw bent sticks in the air so as they can come back to them, as a passtime.

The platypus is a mammal. It has a flat, streamlined body. But in some ways it's as if its creator decided to use little bits of other creatures and was having a laugh.

The platypus has a muzzle shaped like the bill of a duck, webbed feet, and a tail like that of a beaver. The bill may look like a duck's but it is not hard like that of a bird. It is actually an elongated muzzle covered with a leathery skin rather than a hard beak. The bill and feet of a platypus are dark black while the fur is usually a dark brown color. The platypus also possesses a spur on it hind legs that can be used to inject venom into another creature. In humans this can cause agonizing pain so platypets are not a great idea. It can be fatal to smaller creatures.

If you are not confused enough already this is one of only five mammals to lay eggs, rather than giving birth to its young live. The platypus also walks like a reptile. It's one mixed up bunny.

Platypuses also have a sense of electroreception: they locate their prey in part by detecting electric fields generated by muscular contractions. Platypuses have been heard to emit a low growl when disturbed and a range of other vocalisations have been reported in specimens in captivity, although the rumor that they can sing like the Bee Gees is just that. Much is muddled about these creatures. There's not even an accepted plural in relation to them; is it Platipuses or Platipi - who knows?

Despite, or maybe because of their quirkiness, these animals have featured heavily in popular culture. Syd the platypus was one of the three mascots chosen for the Sydney 2000 Olympics. There's a Green Day song "Platypus (I Hate You)", Robin Williams refers to them as proof that God has a sense of humor in Dogma, and I find it hard to escape from Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb.

Useless Fact About the Duck Billed Platypus

They don't have passports. Once they are taken out of Oz they never do well. As of 2013^[update], there are apparently no platypuses in captivity outside of Australia. Three unsuccessful attempts were made to bring the animals to the Bronx Zoo, in 1922, 1947, and 1958; of these, only two of the three animals introduced back in 1947 survived longer than 18 months. Fair dinkum mate - they wouldn't give a XXXX for any place outside Oz.

What Not To Say to a Platypus

Here's some bread ducky, ducky

C is for Camel

It didn't take long. Just two days into the A-Z challenge and my forward planning has gone to rats (ha a R) and I'm playing catch up. On the positive side the 529 visits to this blog on Tuesday was the highest this year I believe, and an improvement on a month ago when I wrote a whining entry about how my blog was dying. Yay for the A-Z challenge. It appeals to my inner nerd. It may kill me yet.

If you think the bad tempered camels that hang out by the pyramids of Giza are formidable you should meet their handlers.

A Bactrian camel has two humps

The fact we were on an organized tour and the handlers had been paid up front made little difference to their technique of trying to get more money out of us. One of them squinted at me, confused by my Canadian bumbag, which was a gift from Canada strangely enough.

"Mr. Canada, Mr. Canada," he said, holding out a grubby palm.

"Nope," I said.

"Engleeesh, Engleesh."

I nodded sadly as the camel's neck shot up and I was high in the air on the neck of the grunting beast.

The handler shot me a predatory grin through shattered teeth. "Marks and Spencer. Tally Ho," he chuckled.

"Yes. We all say Tally Ho all the time in England."

Still I felt more like the hunted than the hunter as he whipped the camel's backside and we jerked off towards a particularly empty stretch of desert. I had heard the tales. If the tip wasn't big enough the camel received the mother of all whips to the ass and I'd end up marooned in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights.

To some extent I can relate to the Tripadvisor review written by Barbara from Santa Cruz in 2006.

"Unfortunately for me, my camel ride amongst the Pyramids was a horribly scary experience. Scary being that the handler of my camel was an 8 year old boy who hassled me the whole time about me giving him my watch, my shoes, etc. Then he took me away from the group and wouldn't take me back to them unless I gave him money," she wrote.

Camels can be awkward as well as their handlers but then, so too might you, if you spent most of the day with people like Barbara from California on your back.

The camel is an even-toed ungulate with distinctive fatty deposits known as "humps" on its back.

You are more likely to encounter a dromedary, which is a one humped beast found in Africa and Arabia than a Bactrian Camel which is a more shaggy animal found in central Asia which has two humps.

There are also New World camels in South America but these are more commonly known as Llamas.

Although camels can be disagreeable and have terrible halitosis, these are definitely the chaps you want with you if you find yourself making a long trip across the Sahara.

Camels do not water in their humps as was once commonly believed. The humps are actually reservoirs of fatty tissue: the concentration of body fat in their humps minimizes the insulating effect fat would have if distributed over the rest of their bodies, helping camels survive in hot climates.

Useless Fact About Camels

The male dromedary camel has an organ on its neck called a dulla, which is a large, inflatable sac he extrudes from his mouth when he's in rut to assert dominance and attract females. It resembles a long, swollen, pink tongue hanging out of the side of its mouth. All of which sounds delightful.

What Not to Say to A Camel

Aim not to tell crude jokes about his toes.

B is for Baboon

Baboons earn the sacred B spot in the A-Z challenge because they are so loathsome.

My childhood is haunted by trips to soulless concrete zoos in Britain when I’d peer into the baboon enclosure to be exposed to scenes of screaming, fighting, gang rape and the like committed by oversized monkeys with raw red bottoms; all of which probably explains why I was scarred for life.

A male baboon acting like the mane man (Dick Mudde)

If there’s one species that makes me want to be a creationist and believe mankind was created in a flash of lightning rather than evolved from primates, it’s the aggressive old baboon.

To me the most offensive aspect of the baboon is its sticky out red bottom. Most self respecting beasts would want to keep a backside like that hidden away. Not the baboon, it seems. It makes me feel no better to know their inflamed looking butts have a use. Apparently a female baboon initiates mating by presenting her swollen rump to the male's face. Lovely.

Wikipedia – which I will draw on heavily during this challenge because I am feeling lazy – describes the aggression displayed by baboons which includes a “quick flashing of the eyelids accompanied by a yawn to show off the teeth.”

Apparently some males succeed in taking a female from another's harem, in an act called a "takeover".

“In many species, infant baboons are taken by the males as hostages during fights,” adds Wikipedia.

It seems not only are baboons ugly sex offenders but they’ll also resort to child kidnap. There are five species of baboon and they live in Africa and Arabia. They are the Olive Baboon, the Guinea Baboon, the Chacma Baboon, the Yellow Baboon and the Hamadryas Baboon.

Ancient Egyptians considered the Hamadryas baboons to be sacred and related them with Thoth, the god of letters. Frankly I find the idea of baboons being scared laughable, perhaps explaining why the Egyptians all ended up mummified.

Useless Fact About Baboons

Baboons take part in social groomingn by picking parasites, dead skin, nefarious gunk, dirt and other unpleasant objects from each other's fur. The act strengthens social bonds within the group but the picking order is also a pecking order with the boboon who is being groomed having a higher status in the group than the one doing the grooming. Having a pal to pick out your lice is the kind of baboon equivalent of having a butler.

What Not to Say to a Baboon

Maybe I can get you a pair of pants

A is for Anteater

Groan. Has the A to Z Challenge really arrived already? So much for being prepared....

I have always been a big fan of anteaters. For some reason during my childhood I would always find myself making friends with people with big noses. I'm not sure if this was a subliminal thing because I liked anteaters of if my affinity with people with big noses led me to relate to anteaters later in life.

The giant anteater (Malene Thyssen)

I'm also rather keen on anteaters because I really have no time for pesky ants.

Anteaters I guess are the animal kingdom's answer to Orkin pest control and unlike Orkin you don't have to hang around for someone to turn up and pay them. Unfortunately my last attempt to procure a Giant Anteater from PetsMart was not entirely successful and I was instead flogged a budgie.

The Giant Anteater is the coolest of the lot and usually hangs out in South America. The lot of an anteater is not a fun one as they tend to spend all day - um eating ants, strangely enough. How many? Up to 35,000 a day although I have no idea who compliled this stat.

There's also the small matter that ants can sting. Wikipedia states: "To avoid the jaws, sting, and other defences of the invertebrates, anteaters have adopted the feeding strategy to lick up as many ants and termites as quickly as possible — an anteater normally spends about a minute at a nest before moving on to another — and a giant anteater has to visit up to 200 nests to consume the thousands of insects it needs to satisfy its caloric requirements."

All in all it's a hell of a lot easier to go out for a curry, if you ask me. Oh yeah and anteaters are xenarthrans - so there.

The anteater's tongue is also covered in tiny hooks and flicks 150 times a minute. If you are an ant in the path of one of these critters my best advice to you is be very afraid. If you see one of these coming your way, you really are in for Antmageddon.

Useless Fact About Anteaters


They have a body temperature fluctuating between 33 and 36 °C (91 and 97 °F) which is among the lowest body temperatures of any mammal.

What Not to Say to an Anteater

Move over Barry Manilow, you're making the bed cold.