Austin and Ally again and I just poked my eye out

The kids have gone and done that thing again where the remote control disappears leaving the TV stuck on the Dismal Channel for weeks on end.

All thoughts of escaping somewhere sweaty wih Andrew Zimmern while he gnaws on a dish of tarantula eyes are sadly gone.

Worse still tonight's chosen instrument of torture is again Austin and Ally, another winner from the Disney Channel featuring goofy girl, goofy guy, obligatory chunky, spiky friend who is meant to be funny but is just generally annoying and incredibly idiotic ginger boy.

I'm sure the people at Disney have some kind of redhead prejudice because every show seems to cast them in the worst possible light.

So what is it with this show that hold's my daughter's attention? I have no idea whatsoever. I try to shut out this white noise in the background but even I realize I have subliminally watched the SAME episode of Austin and Ally about 10 times - you know the one where she is invited to sing but is too nerdy so she sends here annoying friend and uses a PA system and it all goes wrong... blah. Oh and there's the one where the guy snubs her at the dance but he isn't really being rude. He just can't dance.

Every time I see this show I die slightly more inside, even when I'm not seeing it if you know what I mean.

The good news on the Disney Channel front is Hannah Montana has either grown up or disappeared into the coarse talking rock from whence she came. There was also a show about two blonde twins,which obviously had some appeal with 8-year-old girls until they became gawky psychotic teenagers, losing any residual cuteness they once possessed and were sent off to live with Brittany Spears.

When I'm not being subjected to Austin and Ally it's Good Luck Charlie which is about a drama queen mom, a long suffering dad and more kids than you can shake a gnarly old stick at, although I've found shaking gnarly old sticks at random kids can get you in trouble. Although why they have to ring the door bell so many times I don't know.

On the annoyance scale I'd say Good Luck Charlie is slightly less annoying that Austin and Ally. But we are talking about putting one eye out here rather than two.

Another nefarious Disney show aimed at a slightly older age group perhaps is Shake It Up. This show is built around the dance skills of the two main characters - one's a red head and she's made out to be particularly dense - see what I mean about Disney and redheads. This character is played by Bella Thorne who is apparently and up and coming star of the Disney Channel.

Whoever wrote Shake it Up thought 'let's put in a few dance moves' and was dismayed to be told later they might make a stab at a plot.

The other mainstay of the Disney Channel is called Jessie and it's about the nanny of a rather eclectic bunch of kids - obligatory spiky girl, boy with an Indian accent that sounds like someone ridiculing an Indian accent, and a lizard that looks like a Komodo dragon.

This show puts warts on English people and depicts them as evil. Of couse I don't like it but it's better than ... well you know and yet another reason to barricade onself in one's room.