Feeling all Luddite in Best Buy

I put off a trip to Best Buy for at least two years but the technical side of my existence was reaching case critical.


There’s an ad. when a guy goes on about how your computer is in trouble if it takes more than 10 seconds to react.

I want that guy’s number so as I can call him up and scream: “I’d kill for 10 seconds – try 10 minutes.”

And as for blue screens, if I was a successful actor (which I don’t believe I am) I’d be a star of the blue screen.

I’d be sitting there while that interminable hamster wheel turns round and round on the screen, wringing my hands together saying “winning Charlie, I’m winning.”

It has been a while since I’ve been to a store that deals with merchandise pertaining to modern technology, so Best Buy was a frightening experience.

Technophobia runs in the family, I’m told. My grandmother used a mangle instead of a washing machine which explains why she wasn’t invited to many social events. She didn’t do buttons.

Our family’s one attempt to introduce her to the late 20th century by buying her a microwave floundered when she heated up an apple pie for 30 minutes rather than 30 seconds, securing an unscheduled visit from the nice folks from the fire department.

I found Best Buy full of concepts I didn’t fully understand: iPads, iPhones, iPods, iTunes, i-m-confused, Wiis, Kindles, U-boats etc.

I mean I’m all for reading but how sad that we’re even reading novels on cyber pads, leading to the demise of book shops that are among my favorite places in the world.

We asked the geek at the counter if he could fit more capacity, plonking our big old prehistoric tower on the counter. He stared at us as if we had fallen from Mars, shot appalled glimpsed at the tower and flicked a large flake of dandruff from his hair onto his specs as he informed us our model was outdated and would only take 2 kilo bites of Dodge ram.

He totaled up the work to almost $300. “You might as well buy a new platform.”

“Ugh?”

Over in the sales department they had a great deal on a new lap top for just $399, with four times as much capacity. We stared glassily at the salesman as he spoke about hard drive capacity.

It sounded like a deal so my wife went off to deal for more than an hour while I let my daughter beat me at a computer game.

“Great deal,” my wife informed me an hour later. “After all the packages it only cost just under $1,000. We’ll even be able to access email.”

“How fantastic.”

Access to my blog may be somewhat limited this week but I am still out here, lost in cyber space. I’ll be transferring my memory between platforms. I think I’ll be running some guest blogs this week. Featuring photo blogs. That kind of thing.