Now we're out by the bus stop in the drizzle with a cold breeze tugging at our coat tails, the smell of the grease paint already a distant memory as we eye the baleful lights of a fish and chip shop far across the wet highway.
Well not in America we aren't. You can't get decent fish and chips here for love or money.
Although pesonally I normally find money's a more effective way of getting fast food than offering the server my undying love.
Well thanks to all of you who sent me entries. I could have dusted off the thumb screws to squeeze that 10th blog out of the blogisphere, but my OCD isn't so bad yet that I need symmetry and an even number.
And thanks for the altruistic messages and all that, but Guest Blog Week also meant I could...
A - Be lazy
B - Get up my blog views by posting more often.
In a way this woked. Tuesday was a record day for Brits in the USA, when I secured more than 250 views. Congratulations too to Rapunzel whose Tales from the Tower was the most viewed guest blog with more than 70 views.
The rather sobering news for all you guest bloggers is the majority of my hits came from a blog I wrote a few days earlier in which I made a passing reference to, ugh, here goes... Justin Bieber.
For some reason that I can't fathom hundreds of folks, mainly from Brazil, hit on this retarded looking school boy.
Does this mean I will have to bite the bullet that all Americans are meant to have in their homes in case their kids demand a second pop tart, and actually listen to my first ever Justin Bieber track, having just realized he wasn't the kid in Home Alone.
I fear it does.
Not at all. Be strong and refrain from the temptation. It's sure to result in untold angst and other unpleasant things. And you could even stop mentioning his name unless you want your hit rate to go through the roof ;)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe he got more hits for you than the photo of whoeveritwas (the unbelievably gorgeous super model)
I enjoyed your guest blogging week.
"retarded looking school boy" ... I'm still laughing!!
ReplyDeleteOh, and I feel for you being deprived of your proper fish in chips in this godforsaken country. Hopefully you have found an equally joy inducing substitute.
http://rantersbox.blogspot.com/
Be strong, hopefully he'll be like those kids of the 80's & 90's who faded away after a couple of years...As if Twitter is not enough, Et Tu Brutus....
ReplyDeleteI've never had fish and chips, well, except for a period of time in the 70s when we had Arther Treacher's (I think??) fast food fish and chips all around our area.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that those soggy batter-soaked fillets were nothing like you are talking about.
Best place to get them? Tell us!
Better be careful, or I may start associating your blog with the Bieb! ;)
ReplyDeleteWhen someone tells me that I really should know more about the latest "so-and-so" (whether it is a Bieber or a Kardashian or a Snooki), I say why should I care who they are? They certainly don't know or care who I am. They're just people like everyone else. No need to get all worked up over them. That's my view, and I'm sticking to it.
ReplyDeleteAs for the stats for blog post views, I wouldn't put a lot of stock into those either. I did a post quite a while back about a hole in my yard that was dug by a rabbit for a rabbit nest. I was stunned by the number of hits I got (and still get) for people who have holes in their yard and are looking to find out how the holes got there or how to fix them and so on. So if you're looking to make your numbers go up, you might try writing about a hole in your yard.
On my other blog, I think the search terms that gets the most people there is "idiom poems" or "poems with idioms," strangely enough. I suspect that has more to do with school children trying to find information for an English assignment than with someone searching for one of my poems. *Sigh.*
Alas, too late Sue. I just listened to him for about 20 seconds. He sounds like a girl. It's true I am using him for irrisponsible hits. It has to stop. Anyvay back to Pink Floyd. Thanks Empress. There's a place in NYC run by a Brit but it's a way to go for fish and chips. I know Rek but some of those 80s kids were better. No way, Deborah. They are best wrapped in newspaper. You are right Lifebegins at 30. I will never mention him again. You may be right, Daisy - I had a lot of hits for Dura Sheds. Maybe I'll try idiom poems.
ReplyDeleteJust put Beiber in every title whether it belongs there or not... lol
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is that the retarded looking wee schoolboy is a bloody millionaire on his way to becoming a billionaire. Hmmm, I wonder if I should copy the hairstyle?
ReplyDeleteCheers, Sausage...
Nope Laura - I'm not going to mention Justin Bieber again just for hits. Did I say I wouldn't mention Justin Bieber again. That would be Justin...I think we all should, to be fair, Sausage Fingers.
ReplyDeleteSo that's how to get blog famous...
ReplyDelete