SpongeBob Square Pants - the yellow peril

I have been subjected to more than four years of the yellow peril and counting...

Ever since I foolishly introduced Zara to SpongeBob Square Pants he seems to have been lingering there in the background of my life with that horrible machine gun rattle laugh of his.

Every morning as I get the kids ready and try to summon up enough concentration to write Jackson's name on his bottle and to get the date correct, he's there on TV. Or it's Patrick with his retarded voice, or Squidward's nasal whine.

I don't pay much attention, but enough to realize I have seen whatever episode is on at any given time, at least six times before. This doesn't faze Zara who patiently informs me what's about to happen next.

Who would have thought this show would have such longevity? Come to think of it who would have thought it would have happened at all?

How did marine biologist Stephen Hillenburg do it? I can't even imagine him trying to sell his idea to film studios. It features a hyperactive sea sponge, that looks like a household sponge in pants. He lives in an err um a pineapple under the sea. He has a pet snail called Gary who, err um miaows like a cat. Actually he speaks in a few episodes where he is portrayed as a librarian with an English accent.

There's Patrick Star, a dimwitted pink sea star who lives under a rock and Squidward Tentacles, a vain octopus who lives in an Easter Island Moai; I hadn't actually realized this even though I have an interest in Easter Island and recently blogged about it. He also plays the clarinet; apparently octopuses are almost as good at this as they are at predicting football results.

When we get to Sandy Cheeks it becomes clear the people over at SpongeBob Central may have been taking something with their burgers. Sandy is a squirrel from Texas who lives in an underwater tree dome and has to wear an astronaut-like suit in the water because she can't breath under water. It goes to show folks will go to any length to escape from Texas.

Eugene Krabs who owns the Krusty Krab restaurant is a miser. He reminds me of a colleague I once knew called Bill who wore short sleeves shirts in the winter because he couldn't afford sleeves and always ate the tiny stale rolls from the work food machine because they were so cheap. The only time I ever saw Bill show anything like emotion was the time his roll failed to drop from the machine and he smashed it so hard tears were rolling down his cheeks.

A recurring plot in SpongeBob Square Pants is the repeated attempts by the vertically challenged Sheldon Plankton to steal the recipe for Krabby Patties. Plankton has delusions of grandeur and world domination that inevitably come undone. He shows all the symptoms of Small Man Syndrome.

I wouldn't be writing about SpongeBob Square Pants if it didn't impact on my life in some way. Sadly I hear his manic laugh in my sleep. I wake up in a cold sweat fearing I live in a pineapple under the sea.

If I'm at country show, there's inevitably some joker dressed up as Spongebob Square Pants who I have to take Zara to at pain of a three-hour stop if I don't.

Maybe one day, and I have been saying this for some time, she may grow out of him the way she has grown out of Dora the Explorer.

Probaby just in time for Jackson to get hooked, giving us another four years of the yellow peril.


  1. Haha, aww, I never got into Sponge Bob. Although I did have a teacher in high school who looked like Sponge Bob. Unfortunately, this teacher did not have any bones for a neck, so I can't make fun of him too badly. How old is your Zara? I apologize if you've mentioned it in previous posts.

  2. I don't have kids, so I haven't watched too much Sponge Bob. But, I do find it adorable that Sandy the squirrel has to wear that suit because she can't breathe under water.

  3. Well, I wish you good luck with that "maybe Zara will grow out of it" idea. I can almost guarantee Sponge Bob will still be around when Jackson is ready to start watching him. HA HA HA! My sons are 17 and almost 21, and they still watch Spongebob sometimes. I think they (and I) have every episode permanently etched into our brains. I don't think it is possible to escape from the presence of the yellow sponge with pants in your home once you have allowed him to enter there. :D

  4. My 3 year old nephew has got recently addicted to it...everytime I visit, he makes me watch it with him, gets emotional when Spongebob gets scolded/punished...Its weird but kind of novel...

  5. I don't know David, I teach 8th graders and most of them still love Sponge Bob. He seems to transcend age, better make your peace with him. My kids love the show too, and I have to admit, I kind of like it myself. Small doses of course.

  6. what can I say Erica, oh dear re your teacher - Zara is 6. Yep Sandy is wild MP. Yo are right Daisy, he'll be a fixture for some time sadly. You are right Rek, it's the novely factor. It is innovative Tim, wow that's depressing re 8th graders, lol

  7. Spongebob was never really my favorite, but I liked the movie

    Victor, member of PL Team

  8. Zara is very beautiful name. Sponge Bob is anti-authoritarian character. He seems to promote counter-cultural life style.

  9. Thanx Tweeks. Oh haven't had the pleasure of seeing the movie, Victor. Thanks Olga, it's distinictive in the US. Well he's part of an underground movement, ot undersea movement, at least.

  10. I am still in Barney therapy which I think is 1,000 times worse than Sponge Bob. The 'I love you' song from Barney was really used in Pavlov's theory and not the ringing of the bell.

  11. I never watched Sponge Bob. Unfortunately one of my former co-workers liked to play "Sponge Bob No Pants" with his wife. Something about bubbles and well, you get the point. Now I would have a challenging time watching that show and not conjuring up on unwanted images of my workmate.

    Have a great week!


  12. Hey Lidia, yup I get the distinct impression you don't like Barney too much. Hmmm Empress, Sponge Bob No Pants sounds like definitely not the sort of thing you want to picture a workmate doing, lol.

  13. Sounds like a parent's worst nightmare. I also always wondered what the creators of Sponge Bob were on. It's all so wrong.

  14. The guy kind of sounds like a surrealist genius when you describe the show like that. Sadly I've seen the show and he's not. At least barney isn't the show their hooked on.


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