I will endeavor. In the words of Margaret Thatcher who sadly died today: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher was somewhat ruthless but effective. As an animal she would probably be a Great White Shark.
The only time I have ever seen Margaret Thatcher was in the House of Commons tea room. I saw a figure who looked vaguely familiar, albeit a shadow of the woman who had loomed large across the eighties. She was frail but when she caught my eye there was the same steeliness. The look a Great White gives you when you are trapped in a cage under the sea.
The Great White is among the largest of sharks. The largest individuals known to have approached or exceeded 6 m (20 ft) in length. They are associated with the waters off California, Mexico, South Africa and Australia as well as other places such as Japan and Chile.
According to a recent study, California great whites have migrated to an area between Baja California in Mexico and Hawaii known as the White Shark Café. You probably don't want to wind up here as you may open up the menu and find you are on it.
Although this big bad fish has a big bad rap, humans are not at the top of its menu. For example, research in the Mediterranean has shown there have been 31 confirmed attacks against humans in the last two centuries, most of which were non-fatal. Often sharks prefer a "test bite" to see how yummy we are - or not. Which makes me feel much better..
The Great White's scary reputation is in no small part due to Peter Benchley's best selling novel Jaws and Steven Spielberg's 1975 film of the same name that gave the great white shark the image of being a "man eater" in the public mind. In reality far more humans are killed by angry hamsters.
Who can forget the scene when they are out there alone with the mad Irish captain waiting for the mother of all sharks to attack.
Useless Fact About Great Whites
They'll eat just about anything that moves including fellow Great Whites. Cannibalism starts early. The unborn sharks participate in intrauterine cannibalism; stronger pups consume their weaker mates. According to reports a 3 m (9.8 ft) long great white shark was nearly bitten into two by a reportedly 6 m (20 ft) long great white shark in Stradbroke Island, near Brisbane in Australia.
What Not to Say to Great White
Want to be my womb mate.
Forget the goldfish bowl. You're going to need a bigger boat....