Monday, April 1, 2013

B is for Baboon


Baboons earn the sacred B spot in the A-Z challenge because they are so loathsome.

My childhood is haunted by trips to soulless concrete zoos in Britain when I’d peer into the baboon enclosure to be exposed to scenes of screaming, fighting, gang rape and the like committed by oversized monkeys with raw red bottoms; all of which probably explains why I was scarred for life.


A male baboon acting like the mane man (Dick Mudde)

If there’s one species that makes me want to be a creationist and believe mankind was created in a flash of lightning rather than evolved from primates, it’s the aggressive old baboon.

To me the most offensive aspect of the baboon is its sticky out red bottom. Most self respecting beasts would want to keep a backside like that hidden away. Not the baboon, it seems. It makes me feel no better to know their inflamed looking butts have a use. Apparently a female baboon initiates mating by presenting her swollen rump to the male's face. Lovely.

Wikipedia – which I will draw on heavily during this challenge because I am feeling lazy – describes the aggression displayed by baboons which includes a “quick flashing of the eyelids accompanied by a yawn to show off the teeth.”

Apparently some males succeed in taking a female from another's harem, in an act called a "takeover".

“In many species, infant baboons are taken by the males as hostages during fights,” adds Wikipedia.

It seems not only are baboons ugly sex offenders but they’ll also resort to child kidnap. There are five species of baboon and they live in Africa and Arabia. They are the Olive Baboon, the Guinea Baboon, the Chacma Baboon, the Yellow Baboon and the Hamadryas Baboon.

Ancient Egyptians considered the Hamadryas baboons to be sacred and related them with Thoth, the god of letters. Frankly I find the idea of baboons being scared laughable, perhaps explaining why the Egyptians all ended up mummified.

Useless Fact About Baboons

Baboons take part in social groomingn by picking parasites, dead skin, nefarious gunk, dirt and other unpleasant objects from each other's fur. The act strengthens social bonds within the group but the picking order is also a pecking order with the boboon who is being groomed having a higher status in the group than the one doing the grooming. Having a pal to pick out your lice is the kind of baboon equivalent of having a butler.

What Not to Say to a Baboon

Maybe I can get you a pair of pants

30 comments:

  1. Baboons have always made me giggle. Yeah I'm that grown adult that laughs at their naked bums!

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    1. I know Dani - join the grown adult that laughs at naked bums club.

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  2. They are rather hideous aren't they. I mean not just their bulbous red bottoms but their faces.

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    1. well really Juliette and honesly their faces do look like their bums.

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  3. Baboons have to be one of the ugliest creatures ever!

    TaMara
    Tales of a Pee Dee Mama

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    1. good to know you are not a fan TaMara - in fact, who is?

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  4. Well now. After reading about their mating practices, I'm so happy I'm not a baboon. Okay, yes, there are other reasons I'm happy too, like my butt isn't red. Or hanging out all day.

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    1. to be fair there are lots of reasons Jean lol

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  5. *shudder* I am not a fan of the ape/monkey group at all. Baboon bums are so gross.

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  6. OMG look at that thing, I agree with jojo- monkey butts are not pretty to look at.

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    1. no really always hated seeing baboons Jessica

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  7. Shiver...baboons have always grossed me out...for many reasons, which you've outlined nicely. Off to remove the images from my brain. :)

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  8. So coincidental, I went to the zoo yesterday...luckily, We don't have baboons in this one. I remember a time I got bit by a baboon...in the drive-through Safari we went to in England, they picked apart our soft-topped car. I do not like baboons! :P

    Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
    http://writebackwards.we3dements.com

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    1. euw having a baboon bum on my car bonnet would be the worse Jamie..

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  9. Baboons are definitely a nasty bunch. I can't help but laugh at the red bottoms and now knowing the baboons use their swollen rumps to flirt makes them even funnier.

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    1. They are positively without taste Julie :)

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  10. I don't have anything against baboons. I don't have to live with them after all. And to each his own, I guess. Looks like an interesting theme for the A to Z.

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    1. Thanks Inger but sounds like you are in the minority lol

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  11. Yeah, I've never really liked baboons either.

    A to Z Participant
    Cherie Reich - Author and Surrounded by Books Reviews

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    1. I know right Cherie, thanks for coming back to the blog :)

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  12. Baboons have always scared me-- with their attitude and their teeth!

    Damyanti @Daily(w)rite
    Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013

    Twitter: @AprilA2Z
    #atozchallenge

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    1. they don't have much going for them am thinkng Damyanti..

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  13. Oh, you caught me off guard - I dislike baboons - It's a shame i would be so resistant to appreciating their appearance . . . I could have dreamed up all kinds of expectations about your "B" choice - what a delight to have my brain expanded so early in the day.
    Happy AtoZ Month! -g-

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    1. always happy to expand one's brain in the direction of baboons Maggid :)

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  14. I don't like baboons too. Their ugly red rumps bother me especially. Funny post you got here! You still have the most informative B animal post I've read, btw.

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    1. Thanks Dee - I do hope to inform a wee bit

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  15. I enjoy zoos (not the baboons so much) but my husband gets attacked by animals (banny hens, otters, small monkeys) at every time he goes to the zoo!

    Love the usless facts!

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