- Douse the Pop Tarts of the most troublesome relatives with Bud before serving breakfast. Failing that go upscale and use Miller Lite.
- Seat Flatulant Uncle Dwain in a place where he can't harm noone or ruin lunch. If ye don't have a mud room, shove im in the Pit Bull pen.
- Make sure the kids' new shot guns aren't loaded when Santa shoves them in yall stocking.
- Don't repeat the mistake of last year when ya drank too much hooch before making Christmas dinner, couldn't find the cat but found the turkey outside 3 hours later next ta a glass a milk.
Yall have a great Christmas now....