Saturday, May 4, 2013

Reese Witherspoon stands her ground as an American - and is arrested in Atlanta

This week's Lindsay Lohan award for best supporting actress to a DUI goes to Reese Witherspoon for her little performance in Atlanta.

It was a genuine honor to bestow this award because Witherspoon likes to portray herself as the goody two shoes golden girl of the silver screen even though we can't think of any film she's been in since Legally Blonde, which was legally bad anyhow. Or at least legally annoying


Reese Witherspoon shocks onlookers by showing up sober at the White House


Video footage doing the rounds this week showed a police officer arresting Reese's husband Jim Toth for DUI in the early morning hours of April 19.

Witherspoon - who since admitted she was drunk at the time -- decided to butt in during the arrest inserting the infamous don't you know who I am line, or at least a variation of it.

Comically southern police officers are clearly not made of the same stuff as their starstruck LA counterparts and the actress was arrested and charged with Actions Consistent with Being a Pain in the Ass.

Witherspoon also went on repeatedly about being pregnant and wanting to have a pee. This would make her intoxicated state more alarming, but we now know it was made up anyhow.

There were also rather a lot of bizarre references to her rights as an American citizen.

"I'm a U.S. citizen and I'm allowed to stand on America ground," she maintains, which makes me wonder if I was actually allowed to stand on American ground when I was the mere possessor of a green card.

The trooper responded: "Actually, you're not allowed to do anything."



Then when the American thing didn't work Witherspoon tried the actress thing on.

Reese: "Do you know my name sir?"
Officer: "Don't need to know."
Reese "You don't NEED to know my name?"
Officer: "Not quite yet."
Reese: "YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHO I AM!"

Oddly enough even after her arrest in the cop car Witherspoon continued to audition for perhaps her greatest role yet. Pregnant woman who needed to pee. 

The police officer finally was worn down and apologetic telling her: "If you do pee on my seat I won't hold it against you," - an offer I can't imagine he makes to intoxicated drug addicts he arrests in the ghettos of Atlanta.



15 comments:

  1. She has apologized and I believe is very embarrassed. Who hasn't been an ass when drunk? If she is pregnant though, she shouldn't have been drinking.

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    1. Never touched a drop of alcohol, never been an ass JoJo - ahem...

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    2. Oh...right....of course... lol

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  2. Waw, I'm surprised. Not that I have a great respect for her as an actress, but I completely equated her with her characters. I mean, the only edgy one she played to my knowledge was the rather saintly June Carter, whose only flaw seemed to be that she fell pretty easily for jerks. Maybe she's better than I gave credit for.

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    1. oh hey had forgotten about June Carter Starla - yes that was fairly well played.

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  3. Oh dear. A well deserved award indeed.

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    1. takes much to get the Lindsay award Dee :)

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  4. Oddly enough, I've had way more luck with the "don't you know who I am" line... But probably because no one knew who I was...

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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    1. nice one Valerie - may have to try meself - thanks for the visit.

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  5. Knowing what an arrogant idiot she was that night only makes me more annoyed with her. She gives the dumb blonde a bad name.

    xoRobyn

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    1. yees so different to redheads eh Robyb xox

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  6. A well deserved award for her and a good reminder for all of us that even our most drunken cocky moments could easily end up on the internet.

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    1. well I am sorta saddned my druken moments are yet to make the internet Jean lol

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  7. I saw this on the news too. Alcohol does funny things to people...don't you know who I am? Hilarious

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    1. I know always funny when actors think they are above the law Ro, touches of Mel Gibson.

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