I have been slow getting here, mainly because little people have removed the rubber bits from my earphones and I do so hate shoving sharp pieces of plastic into my ears. Maybe I am OCD, although I really don't think so as I tend to usually veer toward the shambolic.
So here goes the final two. Cue drumroll....
2 - Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye
This could be the sexiest song of all time really as it simply drips with lust, longing any other words you can think of beginning with l, with the exception of lemon and lorry which is a British word for truck.
In contrast Gaye's life wasn't particularly sexy. To say he had parent issues is an understatement. Marvin's father was a Pentecostal minister with a penchant for beatings and wearing women's clothing. He described adolescence as "like living with a king, a very peculiar, changeable, cruel and all-powerful king."
A painting of Marvin Gaye
More evidence that Gaye Sn. did not follow a very Godly path is provided by Wikipedia. "Marvin Gay, Sr. eventually quit the House of God in the mid-fifties, after he wasn't named Chief Apostle of the church. Marvin's father never kept a job, working for a total of three years at the Western Union and the post office. He withdrew from social life after dropping out of the ministry, later developing alcoholism and spent his seclusion cross-dressing, wearing his wife's clothes and wigs, which embarrassed his son."
There was also the small matter that he shot Marvin to death, bringing a premature end to the life of a great soulful singer at the age of 45, an age when most of us are just thinking about getting into gear. How come nobody looking remotely like the nurse in the vid has ever taken my pulse? You'd even forgive her those oh-so 80s specs.
1 - Slave to Love - Bryan Ferry
It was a close one but the classy, sexy sophistication of this song - and indeed most things by Bryan Ferry makes this the sexiest song of all time for me. There's also the rather important little fact he's British.
For a guy who hangs out in lounge suits and oozes upper crust breeding, it's interesting to learn he was born from a working class family in the impoverished north east of England whose father Fred bred pit ponies. Perhaps wary of his background Ferry avoided women who reminded him of pit ponies, dating a string of models such as Jerry Hall, who was famously snatched away by Mick Jagger.
In recent years he had made some headlines that have been more euww than woo. He dated a woman 35 years younger than him and is now married to one of his son's ex-girlfriends, which must make family dinners a bit hard to stomach. It remains to be seen if his allure with younger women has any relation to the $30 million he has in his bank account. Slave to dosh baby...