Why did you marry a Brit, Katy?

So there goes another promising Anglo American relationship – Katy Perry and Russell Brand are to divorce after a mere 14 months ending a relationship that had more promise than – I don’t know – Liz Taylor’s marriage to Larry Fortensky.

This one is somewhat shocking because Katy and Russell were seen as the uber cool couple. However, according to the Sun newspaper they had a “huge row,” – a good term that like their marriage, doesn’t translate – and Brand spent Christmas in none so hip Cornwall.

The Sun newspaper said a source told US Weekly mag the pair had a massive row, saying: "She was like, 'F*** you. I'm going to do my own thing'."

The source said that Russell replied: "Fine, f*** you too."

So in such profound terms one of the most talked about relationships of recent years ended…

If there’s a message to come out of this – and who knows if there is or not – it’s don’t marry a Brit. Americans may like the quirky, offbeat humor thing. They may have seen Notting Hill a few times but the reality is we are unreliable and crap and we’re not very funny after a couple of months. And we hate to put out the trash. We start to miss the strangest things like warm beer and fish and chips that don’t taste like cardboard and we realize we’d be happier watching Newcastle United after the fifth pint of Newcastle Brown.

In recent years we have seen a number of these Transatlantic gigs falter as surely as SkyTrain, which is a very old allusion. Take Madonna and Guy Ritchie, a union that straddled all the stereotypes from the obligatory vows in a Scottish castle to Madonna becoming an honorary Brit, owning horses and trotting round her Wiltshire estate blah, blah. For a while we adopted Madonna as real down to earth Londoner ignoring her obvious lack of any discernible sense of humor.

Guy, in contrast, remained being a regular Guy, albeit one from a privileged background, and later said he didn’t have any regrets, especially as the marriage improved his film career. Spoken like a true Brit.

Now I’m on to taking bets about how long Gwyneth Paltrow will remain with the ginger bloke from Coldplay.

While I never had much time for Madonna as an individual, although I have a soft spot for her as a singer, I have a soft spot for Katy Perry as an individual while I have no time for her as a singer.

I didn’t know much about Russell Brand to start with.  In fact I was rather shocked because I thought Katy, who is kind of cute, even if her eyes are a bit close together, was marrying Russell Grant.


  1. Another blow to the sanctity of marriage. :-)


  2. Of course there's another way of looking at it David, the Brits are perfect, just a little misunderstood by their strange over the sea neighbours! (Runs and ducks for cover)
    Happy New Year!

  3. I'm sorry that happened because I read Russell Brand's biography and his marriage with KP was the happy ending of the book. Actually, reading between the lines, you could see it coming. She was so idealised in the book, she could have been any woman.

  4. "So in such profound terms one of the most talked about relationships of recent years ended…" Your cynical humor is the best, David.
    Happy New Year to you and yours.

  5. "They may have seen Notting Hill a few times..." That part made me laugh. I love that movie. :-D

    I've long ago given up trying to keep track of celebrity marriages and relationships. They seem to change so frequently. haha!

    Happy New Year to you and yours, David!

  6. I think I may be Team Russel on this one. Happy 2012 to you and the family, may 2012 be so much better for all of us. xox

  7. Yeah . . . he's rather funny, but she is not interesting in the least. I'm not sure I even knew they were married!

    Either they are sad or I am sad!


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