crime seen ... bad smell of dog

The move is in full swing but I'm not convinced Zara's totally on board with the prospect of long, lazy days in the dreamy pastures of the inner city.

Here's her take on the new place "crime seen, bad doors, bad neiberhood, bad something I can't make out, bad smell of dog - put them all together and theeft."

At least those spelling lessons I gave her late into the night worked out well.

OK it didn't go swimmingly at first, what with those two guys wearing red shirts saying they liked the inside of our house, the police outside the party next door and the evidence that the lock had been jemmied.

By day two we were so paranoid we half expected a deranged maniac in a home knit sweater to come to the door clutching a cake full of nails screaming; "Welcome to the bad neiberhood."

But we were somewhat relieved to find out the party was a one off to celebrate some kind of American holiday and the damage to the door had, in fact been caused by the previous owner when he became locked out.

We were also prepared to overlook the presence of a pit in the basement, the desperate graffiti on the wall, the dried up blood, the presence of a small dog called Precious, the signs saying "We exchange cookies for crack" and the police officer who told us the incident tape was left up on a permanent basis because it cost the department too much to keep putting it up and taking it down again.

So really it's cool now. Suburbia is seriously overrated. Living in suburbia is like being dead except every one's too polite to tell you, you are a corpse. We all need a dose of urban grit in our oatmeal each morning to make us feel alive don't we?

And it's amazing how easy it is to win over a 6-year-old. As soon as it became apparent the new house was on Blue Bunny's route, all the doubts blew away like a police siren receding into the distance in a heat haze.


  1. LOL... love this! I grew up in a nice (read: bad) little "neiberhood" in inner-city Memphis... so, gritty oatmeal is something I'm very familiar with :-)

    Oh, and because you mentioned the damage done to your door...I think #3 on Zara's list might be: Bad Locks, or at least, it would be #3 on my list :-)

  2. Well, that's it - Blue Bunny would convince me to love the place (ANY place), too!

  3. Oh my goodness. This made me giggle. Good luck in the new place. We've made a few moves over the years. Having Blue Bunny would have helped us a few times, but no such luck for us. :-)

  4. That was really funny!
    We are getting ready to move to a "city" as well. We've lived in the country now (closest neighbors a mile away, aside from cows) for over 12 years. My teen boys are ecstatic about it. Places to go, things to do. I have to admit, I'm pretty excited too, I love the peace of the country, but I am looking forward to convenience and coffee shops or any kind of shops other than Walmart. :)
    I hope it is a great transition for you.

  5. I'm envious. I want my own "bad neiberhood". This suburban stuff is for the corpse! Good luck with the move--oh, there'll be all kinds of exciting things to report... ;)

  6. Fun post. I miss urban living so much now that I've been stuck in suburbia too long to remember what it was like. Given the chance, I'd jump at it; and oh, wouldn't even mind the blue bunny thing.

  7. Very best of luck with the move. I'm an urban person through and through so am able to put up with quite a lot of strange goings on!

  8. Thanks e.a.s. - glad you liked it, always like to amuse Lidia. Blue Bunny makes the difference Valley Writer. Indeed Daisy, we're all for Blue Bunny. thanks Jacqueline. I know what you mean Heather, it's good to have some city community. I know Jayne - watch this space. well suburbia has been a bit soulless Shopgirl. Yay for strange goings on Frog.

  9. I find that simply cooking my oatmeal a bit longer gets that grit nice and smooshy. Being as I'm three blocks away from the inner city and all.

    Your daughter is delightful.


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