It's been a bad week to be a guy
Let's face it dudes. This has been a very bad week to be a guy. So much so that I've spent most of it speaking in a squeaky voice, wearing florals and telling anyone who cares to listen my name is Mavis.
Because it's better to be called Mavis than to be outed as a member of the male sex.
It all started with Dominique Strauss-Kahn, an unremarkable looking middle aged guy who just happened to be in charge of the International Monetary Fund and was apparently in pole position for a run for the French presidency.
That was until he was accused of attempting to rape a maid in a New York hotel room.
This whole episode seems remarkable to me. If the allegations are true, it makes you wonder why Strauss-Kahn couldn't have found someone who would willingly dress as a hotel maid for the right price; afterall I assume he has access to the all the money in the world.
It seems remarkable that such a figure, allegedly lost self control to such a degree that he ended up throwing away a glittering career in a matter of seconds.
He'll have plenty of time to think about his actions as he sits in his dingy apartment counting his $250,000 annual separation allowance from the IMF.
Just days later another episode of a man behaving badly was revealed. Actor cum California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife's Maria Shriver announced she was leaving Big Arne. We knew Tipper Gore, style revelations would follow shortly and we were proved right.
Arnie, it appeared, had fathered a child with a member of the household staff. One report even went as far as to suggest he had unprotected sex, which I had almost figured from the child aspect to the saga.
When the Brit press led the way in identifying the housekeeper - it's clearly been domestic appreciation week - it became obvious the actor certainly hadn't been capitivated by her looks.
A colleague described it as the "Divine Brown factor" after the somewhat rough loking prostitute Hugh Grant was busted with. What is it about America that gets Europeans into such trouble?
"I mean he was dating Liz Hurley," My colleague told me in disbelief.
Cleary when we are talking about guys there's no rhyme or reason. We're just great big idiots whose brains are in our pants.
And men misbehaving is clearly widespead, particularly in the world of politics. My wife used to always go on about how she admired John Edwards, his family values and his apparent closeness to his wife etc....until the inevitable happened.
The Republican wannabees for the next presidential election include Newt Gingrich, a man who famously had a six year affair to someone he later married.
This is quite remarkeable - not so much that he should run for president - but that anyone would want to have an affair with Gingrich.
Last time round Rudy Giuliani was the Republican candidate with the extramarital affair in his portfolio. It can surely only be a matter of time before the South Carolina governor who visited Argentina via the Appalacian Trail announces his candidacy.
Democrats never have affairs, of course, if you discount JFK and Bill Clinton. But it's always strange how some politicians go under and others survive the scandal. While Clinton remains popular few people could say the same about John Edwards.
In Britain when the media revealed the Liberal Democrat leader Paddy Ashdown had an affair, it did little to harm to his career, perhaps because he didn't have much of a career, although the Sun headline Paddy Pantsdown has followed him for the rest of his life. Must be awkward when he walks into a pub for Sunday lunch with his wife and somebody shouts out "Paddy pantsdown" before ducking under the bar.
In short, it seems, as guys we are feckless and reckless and beyond redemption. And we'll even be distracted by women as plain icky as Monica Lewinsky.
Well she had nice hair, come to think of it. I'll get my coat.