Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Guest Blog #5 - Tales from the Tower - The Good, the Bad and the Serial Killer

Rapunzel's from Manchester, England, a city where dating may be difficult if all of the men are as happy as Morrissey. I'm posting this blog on the condition she isn't a Man U. fan. She says of the post "This is one of my first posts which seems to set the tone for the rest of the blog - single girl failing miserably in her search for her Mr Right!"

The Good, the Bad and the Serial Killer


When you have 20 unopened emails it all seems so promising...


I'd put up my online dating profile after much deliberation (a male friend advised me my first one was crap and then the dating site itself didn't approve the second one - I didn't write enough about my hobbies seemingly! Maybe cause I don't have any? Note to self: must get some hobbies.)


I'd chosen a photo that hopefully gives a true idea of the way I am (after being told the pet hate of men on these sites is meeting up with women who look nothing like their photo. It was quite hard to find one that shows my size, height, my hair, dress sense as well as one that shows I love X-Factor but hate mushrooms.)


I'd waited a bit to see if I was even going to get any mails and then had paid up in order to be able to read and reply to them.

I was now good to go. With 20 mails to read I was bound to have struck lucky...

Opened number 1. Looked like a serial killer. He even commented on how evil he looks in his photo, like he was proud or something.

Number 2 had no photo so could have looked like a serial killer.

3 had plenty of photos but unfortunately they were all just of his torso, showing his muscles.

At last! Number 4 sent me a nice funny mail, his profile is nice and so is his photo. Things are on the up!

Number 5 is 50. And yes, by 50 I mean years old. Does my photo suggest I'm looking for someone closer to my dad's age than my own?

Question my choice of photo again at number 6 as he states in his profile that he 'abhors TV.' I'm sure my photo clearly suggests I love X-Factor, Greys Anatomy, Home and Away and many other quality programmes.

Number 7 tells me he's only looking for 'no strings attached.'

Number 8 likely to be looking for the same as he asked if I would be interested in someone well-endowed. Does well-endowed ever mean tall cause his profile says he is 6ft 5. Nope? I didn't think it did.

A nice normal guy for number 9. Feel slightly better...

Number 10. Aged 56. Appears that I spoke too soon...

Number 11 is a bit of a contradiction...funny mail but really serious looking guy in his photo.

12 has told me I seem 'elegant'. No-one has ever described me as elegant before. Probably cause I'm not. Definitely need to change my photo.

13's message to me consists of 'lol' this and 'lol' that. Now with only six more messages to read maybe I'm not in a position to be fussy but I'm just not a big fan of lolling.

Number 14 says he can be a 'perfect gentleman or semi-thuggish depending on the needs.' At least if I feel like I'm need of a slap I'll know who to contact.

15 is 5ft 5.

16 is aged 59. I think I'm going to cry.

17 has sent me an absolutely hilarious mail...hurrah! Then I look at his photo...Good Lord no! He looks like the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

I don't think I need comment on number 18. I'll just let you read his mail...'wow--you have done something to me with just a picture--what kinda voodoo do you do when you do that thing you do--hot damn--what in the hell just happened to me--can you please email me--we need to chat--and i am far from crazy--but you...wow- no--really--i don't know what just happened, but i have to chat with you--what did you do to me--lol--'.

Number 19 lives in Birmingham so says he isn't expecting a reply but just wanted to say hi.

And finally number 20...nice enough but all his mail says is hi and how are you? A bit uninspiring. And I'm not sure he'd really like my answer at the moment. How am I, number 20? I'm in disbelief that I've just paid over £40 for this....

http://www.talesfromthetower.co.uk/

10 comments:

  1. Numbers 18 and 20 - talk about polar opposites. I'd stick with number 11.

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  3. 4 and 11 seemed ok....better still, keep your eyes and ears open...you never know...

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  4. You'll be happy to know that I'm not a Man U fan David. I was going to say that's because I'm not actually from Manchester, I'm a wee Scottish lassie but aren't all Man U fans from elsewhere anyway?!

    Thanks for putting up my post and thanks Rek and Petty Witter for commenting. Hope to see you over on my blog some time...!

    Rapunzel x

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  5. I'm so glad I'm not out there in the dating world. At least #4 and #9 sound like possibilities. Good luck to you! I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to try internet dating.

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  6. Good luck with the internet dating and watch out for scammers. It can take a while to find someone or it can happen really quickly. It's just a matter of who's on there when you are. Just make sure you can meet up quickly so you don't waste time!

    I found my dearly beloved online - me after 3 months, him on day 1 (lucky sod).

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  7. I think I recognize number 18 - I think I remember writing that! Mind you I was doing a lot of Diet Coke at the time and frankly I was a bit hyper. I only drink Diet Pepsi now, which is much less crazy, and only two cans a day so maybe have another try?

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  8. Thank you Daisy and Sarah. I've actually just started writing about a guy that I met the old-fashioned way, out in a bar. How retro!

    Glen, Glen, Glen. I was going to suggest you do give it another go so that we can all have a read but I see that you've already done that over on my blog post. BEST COMMENT EVER! I've had friends contacting me about how good it was!

    Have a read of...
    http://www.talesfromthetower.co.uk/2011/01/running-like-buses.html
    if you want to know what I'm going on about!

    Rapunzel x

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  9. Thanks for all the comments guys and congrats Rapunzel for securing the most hits during Guest Blog Week x

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  10. Oh my gosh - FANTASTIC blog post! Thanks for choosing this, David!

    BTW, Chelsea is my side, but my older daughter is all in for Man U ... you can imagine our home on Sunday mornings when the EPL is on tv ...

    PMT
    http://thisthattheotherone.blogspot.com

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