Ode to a Yorkie bar - it's still not for girls
And not a lot of Americans can say that because you can't buy Yorkie bars in mainstream stores here. Instead I had stopped by The Best of British in Hampton this week and forked out a small fortune for the bar.
Best of British stocks a lot of foods I had been craving but hadn't realized at the time; Twiglets, Monster Munch, Whisper bars, Crunchies, Jammie Dodgers... the list goes on like the golden annals of time.
So here's my Yorkie bar in all its glory with the slogan: "Not for girls," written boldly on the wrapper that goes boldly where no woman has been before.
You don't see that kind of slogan in America. For a start some shrink from Sedona, would find 15 minutes to get away from her healing stones, brush her lank gray locks to one side of her head and forsake the redemptive powers of the Sun Goddess to call her attorney.
Apparently Nestle's slogan received a few complaints - mainly from Norway, where you'd think they'd be sick enough of eating raw fish for breakfast to wholeheartedly embrace the Yorkie.
A few minutes of of research reveals special versions were made for Ministry of Defence ration packs that read: "It's not for civvies."
Apparently there's history to this piece of slightly sexist marketing. In the 1980s toy lorries (trucks in the US) with the Yorkie bar logo were manufactured and television ads for the Yorkie bar featured truck drivers.
Anyway I get all poetic when I comtempate the Yorkie bar and the long weekends I have spent without one. Admittedly Keats never mentioned it when he wrote To Autumn. "Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun."
But the poor soul never knew better and died young in Rome, the mellow chunkiness of a Yorkie bar, never to have passed his pale lips.
It's not a problem I'm going to have today and there won't be much competition in the household because it's not for girls.