Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Decoding the magic mix - sex, Twiglets and Angelina Jolie

I finally redesigned my blog to lose the seedy yellow polka dot background that looked like wallpaper from a hotel suite in the Rockford Files.

The redesign didn't take long. It seems that background templates have moved on a lot since I first set up this blog a couple of years ago. I just hadn't realized Blogger boasts all these exciting new features. I am forced to ask myself what I have been doing all this time? Yeah - I know. Trying to work out how to do the Rubik's Cube and removing dust from my Depeche Mode 45s.

Well - you know what they say. New blog; new me. I'm not sure if they say that but they might as well. My sharp new design suits witty and sardonic entries but let's ditch the morose experiements with poetry for a while. Or at least let's ditch the woolly poets in favor of sleek, minimalist ones.

I once met Ted Hughes at a reception, although I was too intimidated to talk to him and risk being told to "booger off" in person. I saw a large shambolic figure, like an overgrown sheep. I found myself wondering why two women committed suicide over this guy. Not that having women commit suicide over you is any kind of badge of honor.

I have decided if I'm going to have poetry in my blog it's going to be edgy and sharp. Like William Carlos Williams. "So much depends upon a red wheel barrow; glazed with rain water; beside the white chickens."

You can't argue with that.

Also I finally got round to reading the statistics on my blog page views, which has led me to think about a new direction. In general the page views are disappointingly low but there are some pointers. One superflous mention of Jennifer Aniston and the chart peaked to a weekly high with 14 views.

Going back to the all time high the entry that saw the most views was entitled: "Sex, lies and Durosheds."
Notwithstanding the fact this described a rather desultory trawl I took through an empty parking lot during a worn out, blue phase to rival Picasso's, it obviously received the most hits because of the use of the word "sex."

The only logical conclusion I can draw from this is that sex sells so by making my blog more sexy I might be able to boost hits to at least get my blog out of the gutter of the blogisphere onto the pavement of the blogisphere where I can at least sneak a peak at the Blogisphere Cafe.

Mind you a blog I wrote about Twiglets also received quite a few hits. In the immortal words of Paul Daniels they like it - not a lot.

It's clearly a cue for me to adopt the nefarious grin of the magician and to disappear behind a velvet curtain to reappear with the magic formula; as long as I don't emerge looking remotely like David Copperfield. I really couldn't stomach that on a Tuesday after devouring my boss' leaving cake.

Jennifer Anniston clearly has blog appeal but there must be celebrities with more blog appeal; Angelina Jolie for instance, which means I can also throw Brad into the mix - with sex and Twiglets and maybe Beachy Head, which also attracted a few page views.

Uh hum - Ok. Here goes........

As a post script, this approach worked beyond my wildest expectations with well over 1,000 hits to this posting since I made it. I have since tried a similar approach with my little visited blog Rhyme and Reason with a post about Lady Gaga and the sex lives of elephants. Only time will tell if the formula will work here too.

6 comments:

  1. I think it was Picasso's 'pink/rose' period that was more the sexy, pornographic stage of his life ~ blue was the suicidal ~ I could be wrong, but I do vividly remember taking my son to a Picasso exhibition and he was immensely bored until we reached the 'pink/rose' period.

    Whatever it takes to create those hits!! Keep blogging and you will hit those high numbers soon. Oh and anything with sultry Angelina Jolie is sure to increase the traffic.

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  2. Funny, I love the new design and particularly the bigger font.
    I also recently discover bloggers new templates and updated as well.. was even a bit fun.

    Can't wait to read more about sex and angelina.... lol... just be you, I'll read it.

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  3. Thanks folks. Not that I'm an expert on such things. Well I didn't feel suicidal but I definitely felt down when I wrote that post so Durosheds were anything but sexy.

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  4. Hello David, love your new template!
    Angelina, for me is the prettiest woman ever!

    Have a great day!

    B :)

    P.S. To answer you Q, my beach photos were taken when I was on island of Paros, Greece.
    And thanks so much for your wonderful comments on my blog. Always good to hear from you. :)
    It means a lot!

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