This vision haunted me during my childhood and it has a habit of popping into my mind every time I expound the superiority of British comedy to Americans.
"Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Alan Partridge, Blackadder...oh and The Office with Ricky Gervais."
And someone will inevitably conjure up those two words that will bring me crashing down to earth.
"Benny Hill?"
I'll stammer and try to find a way of proving he wasn't British. I'm like Donald Trump floundering around looking for Barack Obama's Kenyan birth certificate.
Benny Hill died in 1992 and while a new climate of political correctness had sidelined his show he remained immensely popular.
While other popular British entertainer such as Morcambe and Wise failed to make it big in America, Hill succeeded spectacularly while not even marketing himself at the United States.
The Telegraph reported in his obituary: "By 1985 not a single day would pass without The Benny Hill Show being screened somewhere in America, and many stations would broadcast the programme twice a night. At San Jose penitentiary the prisoners threatened mayhem unless they were allowed to watch him."
Although I'd like to pass him off as American it appears he was born in Southampton - the city in which the right wing and rightly annoying former Sun columnist Gary Bushell attempted to erect a statute of Hill in.
Hill did some stage work and radio before finding the ideal medium for his slapstick brand of humor, TV.
By the 1970s he had a huge following in countries as diverse as Cuba, France and China. Perhaps slapstick manages to cross the language barrier, thus explaining the huge popularity of Norman Wisdom in Albania.
Apparently the Russians pointed their television aerials towards Finland to pick Benny Hill's show- until, under the freedoms of glasnost, they were allowed to receive the programme on their own network. By the time of his death Hill had taken Britain's obsession with bottoms and boobs and made it into a global phenomenon becoming the world's most popular comedian in the process.
Hill himself acknowledge his universal appeal saying: "I can get my face slapped in six different languages".
Hill was originally inspired by Charlie Chaplin and it turns out Chaplin was later revealed to be a Hill fan. Michael Jackson was another fan.
"I just love your Benny Hill!" the singer, and future best pal of the chimp Bubbles, told the British press during a 1970s tour. "He's so funny!".
I could never understand the appeal of Hill but grew up with kids who were addicted to the show. Yet I was also aware there was a class thing going on here. Hill's fans were primarily blue collar. They were more likely to rate a game of darts as a good night out and probably less likely to exclaim: "Gosh. Let's go out and see Madame Butterfly tonight."
Increasingly, intellectuals started sneering. Comedian and left wing activist Ben Elton, who co-authored Blackadder, famous claimed The Benny Hill Show was single-handedly responsible for a number of incidences of rape in England.
Elton later claimed he had been taken out of context. He later appeared in a parody on Harry Enfield and Chums, Benny Elton, where he was chased by angry women, accompanied by the "Yakety Sax" theme, after trying to force them to be more feminist rather than letting them make their own decisions.
Whatever the claims and counterclaims the accusations that Hill's comedy was offensive to women stuck, notwithstanding the explanation of his friend and producer Dennis Kirkland that the women chased Hill in anger for undressing them, all of which was done accidentally by some ridiculous means.
Hmmmm.
Hill's show was cancelled in the late 1980s after Thames TV chiefs claimed, rather unconvincingly, that audiences were falling and Hill was looking tired. He never recovered from the shock.
Hill who said he had a mental age of 17, never married. Reports later emerged that Benny Hill wasn't very funny in real life, or at least at all funny. Reports surfaced suggesting he was odd and controlling.
He showed a particular attraction for young working-class girls - "I get a kick out of taking them to places they would not normally visit," he explained.
The comedian avoided educated and intellectual women, and matrimony held no appeal.
He said he proposed once at the age of 23, but was turned down.
"Secretly I was relieved", he said. "It was like watching your mother-in-law driving your new car over the cliff edge. You have mixed feelings about it."
OTHER BRITISH HOWLERS
Brits may get uppity about comedy but we have certainly produced some bad ones as well as gems. Some of the worst were.
TERRY AND JUNE - Flabbily unfunny suburban sitcom about a middle aged couple who play golf, garden and do other middle aged suburban stuff in sensible pullovers.
BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Spikily unfunny suburban sitcom about two criminals' wives
KENNY EVERETT - Like Benny Hill on crack, although he had some funny moments.
HARRY HILL - No relation but too off the wall to be funny.
LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE - Sitcom about three elderly men who wander round a Yorkshire village. The only joke in this show seemed to revolve around a woman with wrinkly stockings and the fact she had wrinkly stockings.
ALLO ALLO - You wouldn't think the work of the French resistance in Nazi occupied Germany would make for good comedy and for the most part it didn't.
THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT - Sitcom about the family of a property developer. A veritable yawnathon.
SORRY - This one lived up to its name. There's only so far you can stretch the joke of a 41-year-old man called Timothy who still lives with his mother.
FREDDIE STARR - He may not have eaten any hamsters but the infamous headline is about all he's famous for these days.
ARE YOU BEEN SERVED? This Seventies department store sitcom still appears Stateside at times. Laughs revolved around Mr. Humphries' exaggerated homosexuality and Mrs. Slocombe's "pussy."
