Why is Calvin Harris Living in Sexy Garden?

This has been bugging me for a while, so I thought I would take up the misheard lyrics theme again. There was a song I kept hearing on the radio about someone living in or on Sexy Garden. It made me wonder where Sexy Garden was, whether it was a theme park and also if I could buy a ticket to the hottest hot house in town.

Cue heavy breathing theme park host: "And here are the perennial begonias - don't you find them sooo sexy? I mean just look at those stems.."

I wasn't quite sure about this lyric. At first I hoped it would go away. But every time I went to spin class the song was played, mainly because there's a really fast bit that makes your legs speed up and you sweat like an unsexy pig that would have no place porking around in the vegetable patch in Sexy Garden.

Despairingly I Googled the lyric and it took me to the right song, meaning there are plenty people who are as stupid or obsessed with horticultural sex as me. The song is actually called Sweet Nothing and it's by a Scottish geezer called Calvin Harris.

I tried to get hold of Calvin to berate him for creating the illusion that Sexy Garden was really out there but couldn't track him down. Maybe he's on some remote island fitting himself up for a tartan skirt. Well anyhow the Sexy Garden lyric goes.

And it's hard to learn
And it's hard to love
When you're giving me such sweet nothing

So there you go. How Sweet Nothing becomes Sexy Garden I have no idea. Seems I have written about misheard lyrics before. I wonder if Bonnie Tyler is still getting to grips with her hard egg. Is Sting still wailing "A year has gone since I broke my nose," and is Robert Palmer still reconciled to the truism. "Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove?"

Or at least the Addicted to Love singer might be if he wasn't dead. Belated thanks to JoJo for reducing the Beatles classic to "The girl with colitis goes by."

Incidentally the video is a bit disturbing. Don't watch it. Just rely on my summary. It's about a man who appears to be dissatisfied with his fish and chips and gets battered.