Kate Plus Hate and 8

Here's startling new evidence I am existing rather than living.

Tonight Kate Plus 8 showed up on TV and I didn't even have the energy to switch the channel. It doesn't help when you have lost the remote control and have to switch buttons on the stone aged TV. I normally hit the wrong button anyhow and retreat defeated with a crap show blaring out even louder. At least it's almost the weekend.

So Kate Plus 8. What the hell's that about anyhow?

Mildly annoying unremarkable peroxide blonde person takes her kids to the zoo in Australia. I'm waiting for something to happen, the loss of the odd limb or something in the jaws of a croc and nothing.

So the only remarkable thing about TV's equivalent of a steaming heap of wallaby poo is unremarkable peroxide woman, who may or may not have had a boob job, has more kids than some of us. Although there are certain nights after wine when I swear I have gained six more kids.

I actually work with a guy who has 13 kids. He's unremarkable but I find myself thinking he'd make better TV than Kate.

A reality show about a guy clipping his toe nails would probably make better reality TV than this. At least it's gritty. And to think I once wondered who or what is Justin Bieber? Compared to Kate the guy has talent. Sort of.

Eventually I managed to shift from the bed, alarmed in the knowledge that my YMCA membership kicks in this week. If it was Kate Winslet, Beckinsale, Middleton even or Cate Blachett, I might have avoided this embarassing fumbling back to the dark ages of manual TV. But there was no way I was putting up with another 10 seconds of Kate Goblin.

Reluctantly I was back on the news channels. I fear I'm already bored with the post mortem on Osama Bin Laden. Don't get me wrong. I don't wish many people dead but I make an exception with this evil stain on the face of humanity. But why do the networks have to go on about it, trying to find new angles on something with few new angles? At least until Donald Trump demands his death certificate.

And while we're on the subject of new angles I'm thinking Kate might want to think about reviving an old one and getting together with good for nothing ex Jon.

Because who wants to see Kate being nice to everyone as she trails round a zoo? The only thing that kept the show going before was her relentless bitch slapping of Jon.