I’ve never been to Moldova but in the immortal words of Sheryl Crow the brochure looks nice.
What am I talking about? Even if you were unlucky enough to find a travel agency still open in 2011, you probably won't find any glossy brochures with bikini clad girls drinking Martinis in Moldova.
If there was a brochure you might find a picture of a smelly old sort supping industrial strength vodka from a milk carton on a park bench.
Let's face it, we'd all want a drink if we found ourselves in landlocked gray Moldova, squeezed between the must-visit destinations of Romania and the Ukraine.
And quite a few drinks pass the lips of the Moldovans. Apparently Moldova is the drunkest country in the world, according to the World Health Organization.
Moldovans drink a liver pickling 4.81 gallons per person a year, which apparently averages out to a fair amount because babies aren’t meant to drink, although Moldovan babies probably chug vodka in their formula bottles.
When I first clicked on this link I fully expected Britain to be the most drunken country in the world. Because we always do so badly in the World Cup, we deserve a break. We need to win something. But it seems Britain (notwithstanding the presence of Scotland) is only the 17th most drunken country in the world.
When you've dodged fights and a cascade of projectile vomiting on a night out in Romford, Essex (and that was just the girls) this ranking is frankly hard to believe.
But it seems the Eastern Europeans are cornering the market in heavy drinking, with contries including the Czech Republic, Russia and Hungary also in the top five.
It's certainly no surprise that the United States, which received an honorable mention, did so poorly in this study ending up as only the 56th most drunken country in the world.
I only had to to see the horrified expressions of Americans on a Brits trip to New York I attended more than a decade ago, to realize swaying around on bar stools, holding cigarette lighters in the air, is not the done thing in the USA.
I also have vague memories of the bemusement on the face of the taxi driver as I told him to "hang on a minute" while I tried to get Gareth out of the garbage can.
Cruising down Park Avenue was cool, until we realized we had no idea of the address or location of the apartment we had checked into earlier that day.
"Yeah. It's got a canopy and there was a guy with a hat standing outside," I told the taxi driver.
Apparently Yemen is the least drunken country in the world, coming in at 188th place in the World Health Organization survey.
And a violent uprising is being held there at present.
Who says a drink makes you want to fight?
Well according to my last blog post and video drinking makes you want to move in ways some people shouldn't.
ReplyDeleteI am shocked that it was not England. I mean everyone there is on the piss.
ReplyDeleteI was really surprised to see South Korea on that list. I had no idea.
ReplyDeleteI really hope that America see's our 56th place ranking in this poll and makes it another Sputnik moment.
After I've been on the piss, I gotta take a piss. Heh. Hey, do ya think that the Yemeni are fighting because the CIA snuck in some tequila? Or is it PBR that makes men violent?
ReplyDeleteI love a national of piss-cats. God now I feel at home.
ReplyDeleteWhat on earth were you doing in Romford, David? Are you an Essex lad? It's ok, you can fess up cos I'm from down the road in Hornchurch.
ReplyDeleteOf course, in my day, the pubs shut early and chavs were yet to exist. It still wasn't very nice though.
This post was entertaining AND educational-nice work David. I am genuinely surprised that the US is so far down the rankings. I grew up in Wisconsin, where drinking is taken quite seriously. I guess the other 49 states aren't holding up their end of the deal.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post, David. I have no plans to visit Moldova. That's probably a good thing. :D
ReplyDeleteApparently Americans are good at hiding their pissitude. We are good at being on the piss. I love that phrase!
ReplyDeleteMaybe the lack of drink drives them to fight....Nice post....though the only drink I ever had (if u can call it that) was a few drops of Jack Daniels in my Pepsi aeons ago...
ReplyDeleteWell all I can say is that the rest of the US let Colorado down.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Julie
Julie Magers Soulen Photography
I take it the UK was judged as one country? Send Moldova up here, we want to drink her under the table.
ReplyDeleteyeees Lidia, having viewed your blog, I see what you mean. For sure Oilfield, but not as much as Ireland and Scotland. that's so funny Christopher - I was like South Korea, WTF? Maybe It's lack of beer Mollie, I guess Americans don;t say 'on the piss' - moving to Moldova eh Scots lass? That's cool Sarah, Hornchurch is a bit better, na I worked in Ilford for a while so we went drinking in Romford. Glad you liked it Tim. I think the bible belt lets the US down. I wouldn't say it's worth it, Daisy. Are you saying Americans are on the piss, on the sly, Deborah? really Rek, that's amazing. Let's hear it for Colorado, Julie. I rate Scotland's chances on a good night, Ryan.
ReplyDeleteI'd be perpetually drunk if I live in Moldova, too. But I can't believe the little Rhody didn't give USA a boost in ratings. It's pretty pissy here.
ReplyDeleteHahaha well I guess I must be British because that sounds like a typical Saturday night to me! ;)
ReplyDeleteBut then again, I must be a typical American because I've never even heard of Moldova until today...sad.
I'm not a drinker, but if I lived in a country called Moldova, I think I'd need to become one. That's a lousy name. Wouldn't you say?
ReplyDeleteCheers,
xoRobyn
Moldova...just saying that name makes you sound drunk...cheers! Great post :0)
ReplyDeletefor sure Jayne, do you live in Rhode Island? I'd say you are an honorary Brit, Jennifer. yees Robyn. I don;t think Moldova has so much going for it. Cheers Marnie, I'll drink to that.
ReplyDelete