Naturalization test day

Now this is alarming. I have my naturalization test for U.S. Citizenship tomorrow morning and I've only just found a CD of sample questions that I've meant to be learning for the last two months.

There I was assuming they would be asking the name of the brand of doughnut that is ready when the red light goes on or what's American for a car's boot and I'm hit with lots of grown up questions.

I figure my last chance to ace it is to learn a numbers game. So here goes.

The Bill of Rights consists of 10 amendments (presumably because the founding fathers, nay framers) were dischuffed about some of the original provisions.

The Constitution was written in 1787. This shouldn't be confused with the Declaration of Independence (which is somewhat dubious because it was written in 1776 when the US was still a British colony).

The Constitution has 27 amendments whereas the Declaration of Independence has life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The Declaration has been the result of much happiness ever since because July 4 is a day off work, whereas there is no holiday for the Constitution.

The Declaration also mentions freedom of religion which means it's acceptable to built large compounds in Texas and carry on in a dubious manner. At least until the Feds decide to send in the tanks.

The economic system of the USA apparently is capitalist, which is worth mentioning to some of the more rightwing commentators who seems to believe it's socialist - for now.

The Pilgrims arrived in 1620. The Jamestown folks arrived first in 1607 but the study guide doesn't mention them as they fought with the Indians instead of sharing supper.

There are 100 senators and 435 members of the House of Representatives. I keep forgetting this figure. If you knock off those who have been involved in sex scandals it's probably down to 400 which would be easier to remember. I doubt if this would be legitimate for tomorrow's test, though.

And U.S. Representatives only serve two year terms while Senators serve six. It hardly seems to be worth it being a Representative particularly as this would entail close contact with Nancy Pelosi.

Then there are some remarkably easy questions such as who is the President and who lived in America before the Europeans. These sort of questions unnerve me because they seem too obvious. Rather than the Native Indians I am liable to blow it by going on about Asiatic peoples and the Vikings.

I'm pleased to say the question of who was Thomas Jefferson's mistress does not appear to be on the test. I got this one wrong at work and earned myself some strange looks by venturing Betsy Ross.

Wish me luck.