Monday, January 18, 2016

Naked Women in Waffle House And All That Fast Food Fun

Chain restaurants more than anything else, characterize the American experience for me. That sinking feeling of being hungry after a long road trip and pulling off the Interstate only to find the sole place open is some nasty Applebee's that smells of child vomit is a curiously American thing.

You quickly learn the chains that are safe and the ones that are no go zones. Panera Bread and Subway, for example, can be fine and even healthy. Chick Fil A is probably not so healthy but at least it doesn't feel like walking into a the set of Fort Apache, The Bronx.. Hardees in the bad side of town, most Burger Kings and many KFC's are the wrong side of ick. I would add Waffle House to this list, having scrupulously made sure to never venture into one for nine years. I finally relented last year but am placing Waffle House again on the no-go list.

This is partly due to the appearance of a naked woman in a Waffle House near Atlanta. You might think this would be a reason to lump waffle house in the Penera Bread category. If so you might not have seen the mugshot.

Jennifer Mary Nicholson, 37, of Marietta, is reported to have stripped off naked, thrown plates around and punched a woman in the face, breaking her nose, at the Waffle House. Her mugshot looks a bit more Jack Nicholson in The Shining than anything else.

This story emerged just days after another strange tale at a Waffle House. Two Waffle House employees in Arkansas had been using cooking utensils to style their hair - as one does - and even dipping hair in boiling water. One customer complained after consuming a particularly hairy waffle. All credit goes to the alert customer who noticed the difference in Arkansas.

In New Mexico, a male customer became so angry when his server told him the restaurant's pies were not available because they were frozen, he pulled a knife on her. Fast food rage is nothing new as anyone familiar with the infamous McNuggets freak out in Ohio by a woman who was denied McNuggets will realize. Here's a good reason not to feed your kids with McNuggets folks...this woman is marginally more nuts than anyone I have dated.


Clearly there is something in those cardboardy pieces of meat reclaimed from old chicken bones that causes freakery. In Florida, a woman dialled 911 three times when McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets.

Meanwhile, back at Waffle House, management in North Carolina made themselves popular in the news by denying a waitress a $1,000 tip she was given. 

All of this makes for a good argument to re-familiarize ourselves with our stoves really...



2 comments:

  1. Wow. Just wow. I mean I get the urge to strip naked and throw plates at Waffle house, because why not? But that mc nugget maniac is clearly the winner of the mc rage award.

    *Disclaimer, I've never been to a waffle house and have no plans to. Nor have I ever had the urge to disrobe at a food establishment. Have you ever looked closely at those seats? euw?!? I may, however had the urge to throw plates, but I have never done so because I'm a civilized human being for goodness sake.

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  2. Only in a Greek restaurant Jean - nope me neither re that fast food restaurant stripping thing - not the cleanest...

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