Monday, January 19, 2015

Pet Peeve #45 - People Who Post Their Lurve on Facebook

I have really taken a strong dislike in recent months to people who post about their icky, gushing love for each other on Facebook.

It's not even that close to Valentine's Day and yet lots of people are posting their old wedding photos. Being fundamentally cynical, my reasoning for this is:

1 - They looked quite hot on their wedding day. The photographer may have also been rather skilled doing dog shows for all those years. Now their chins are sagging down behind their rear quarters which are sagging in some unmentionable place.

2 - Their marriage is on the rocks but they want to convince themselves and others they are love's young dream.



I really wish people would stop doing this and get a room instead. And while I am all for gay marriage etc. the same rules apply. Yes - it's new but who wants to see people in a bout of face sucking? I know I am cynical about the notion of people being genuinely happy in relationships at times that don't involve cake, but even if they are - on the off chance -  I certainly don't want to see it.

I find the case of Mrs. G particularly toe curling. Mrs. G has not been properly named here because it's rude and she might bite my knee caps.

Anyway, back in the days when I went through the motions of being a respectable member of society I would take the kids to the church day care and pretended to smile a lot. Believe me, using those facial muscles have caused all sort of problems for me later in life.



Often when I was walking back to the car I would see Mrs. G., taking her spawn out of her car. Invariably she was never smiling. Still, I would go through the motions of saying hello to Mrs. G. She would either blank me or she would grunt. She had the expression of a distracted guppy. I was really rather fine with that as I'm always looking for a legitimate scowl opportunity.

For some time Mrs. G's better half - the cliche is not wrongly used here - has been a Facebook friend of mine. He seems a nice enough guy, despite his penchant to take the kids to inhospitable places in tents at the coldest time of the year.

However, what kills me about Mr. G is the fact he is always posting pictures of himself with Mrs. G, including wedding shots, honeymoon shots and partial kissing shots. How he can do such a thing is beyond me, I can only conclude he is bullied into doing it by Mrs. G - what do you mean, he loves her?

The last one of my Facebook friends who took part in such a horrific orgy of lovey dovey photo posting is now getting divorced. It should serve a warning for anyone who is contemplating this most distasteful of practices.

15 comments:

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    1. Wouldn't miss it David! Always one of the best blogs I read! I don't even post my status on FB, and nothing family. Although, sometimes my sister drives me nuts with her - I love my sister posts! I even blocked her, but then felt bad and unblocked her, but really, WHY!

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  2. When the most perfect couple I ever met got divorced, I said to self, "Figures."

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    1. I know right Kittie - isn't that always the way?

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  3. This totally cracked me up. I would so love to see Mrs. G. What a description. I also hate the declarations of love on FB. I have to think everyone does, except the guilty parties, of course.

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    1. for real Julie - she is a piece of work...

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  4. Totally agree with this, and another one is people who wish their kids happy birthday on Facebook, like a 5 year old==why not just go into the room where your 5 year old is watching cartoons and say happy birthday I love you so much instead of posting it on Facebook?

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    1. well that would be too personal and not showing off to the whole fake book crowd Karen - thanks for visiting

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  5. I respect you more than ever for this post, David. Applause! The lovey doveys are disgusting. Even now that I'm dating someone I'm quite fond of, I refuse to change my facebook status or post any photos of us being lovey-dovey. Why do so, when we can just get a room?

    Smiles. I hope you're well too, David.

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    1. that's good that you are dating someone you are fond of Robyn - that's a rare thing :) nooo no Facebook love pix

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  6. Well they say that if you have to broadcast it then it 'aint working. You'll never see me doing that David, unless it's over a piece of cake. :)

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  7. omg - I'm choking with laughter (on my endless supplements). I'm with you especially on what I call the "perfects." The always grinning, always happy, always lovely, always smart (ahem), and always charming with their perfect everything. Not that I want to see the other side. I'm not a fan of the doomy and gloomy crowd. Maybe I (and the rest of us?) are over stupid FB. I actually took it off of my phone! Quel horrors! (apologies for lazy spelling)

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