I have really taken a strong dislike in recent months to people who post about their icky, gushing love for each other on Facebook.
It's not even that close to Valentine's Day and yet lots of people are posting their old wedding photos. Being fundamentally cynical, my reasoning for this is:
1 - They looked quite hot on their wedding day. The photographer may have also been rather skilled doing dog shows for all those years. Now their chins are sagging down behind their rear quarters which are sagging in some unmentionable place.
2 - Their marriage is on the rocks but they want to convince themselves and others they are love's young dream.
I really wish people would stop doing this and get a room instead. And while I am all for gay marriage etc. the same rules apply. Yes - it's new but who wants to see people in a bout of face sucking? I know I am cynical about the notion of people being genuinely happy in relationships at times that don't involve cake, but even if they are - on the off chance - I certainly don't want to see it.
I find the case of Mrs. G particularly toe curling. Mrs. G has not been properly named here because it's rude and she might bite my knee caps.
Anyway, back in the days when I went through the motions of being a respectable member of society I would take the kids to the church day care and pretended to smile a lot. Believe me, using those facial muscles have caused all sort of problems for me later in life.
Often when I was walking back to the car I would see Mrs. G., taking her spawn out of her car. Invariably she was never smiling. Still, I would go through the motions of saying hello to Mrs. G. She would either blank me or she would grunt. She had the expression of a distracted guppy. I was really rather fine with that as I'm always looking for a legitimate scowl opportunity.
For some time Mrs. G's better half - the cliche is not wrongly used here - has been a Facebook friend of mine. He seems a nice enough guy, despite his penchant to take the kids to inhospitable places in tents at the coldest time of the year.
However, what kills me about Mr. G is the fact he is always posting pictures of himself with Mrs. G, including wedding shots, honeymoon shots and partial kissing shots. How he can do such a thing is beyond me, I can only conclude he is bullied into doing it by Mrs. G - what do you mean, he loves her?
The last one of my Facebook friends who took part in such a horrific orgy of lovey dovey photo posting is now getting divorced. It should serve a warning for anyone who is contemplating this most distasteful of practices.