We'd trudge over there in the hope of winning a gold fish that would be dead by the time we got home or for a quick candy floss high.
The haunted house was the highlight. It wasn't actually a haunted house but the trailer of a truck manned by a grubby handed individual who would grunt at you when you handed him your change and leer at the girl's tops. Then we'd walk down a nondescript passageway adorned with a few plastic spiders until we got to the very end when a man dressed as a werewolf would come running to the bars of a cage roaring and frightening the heebie jeebies out of us.
One year the highlight was a chair we would sit in that would zap enough electric current through our veins to fry a mid sized rodent.
Like I said I didn't get much fun as a kid. I needed a fun factory nearby, but all we had was the fish and chip shop.
I guess American kids had the Magic Kingdom if they were lucky enough to get there. It was a bit more high tech than the fun fair and at least the staff pretend to like kids at Disney; except for the people who check your bags.
When we arrived at the Magic Kingdom the rather artificial looking main street was being cleared for the parade. I breathed a sigh of relief because it meant a brief respite from the over priced stores.
What can I say about the parade? It was everything you expect from Disney and some of the people there really did seem to want the time of their life, although I just wanted a Newcastle Brown. Instead of describing the thing you can watch the video instead. We are living in a culture where people no longer talk about it but post to YouTube. We want an instant visual high. One day maybe therapists won't bother to get their patients on the couch - they'll just post their consultation on YouTube.
Disney's also a high octane visual stimulation thing; it's a sugar overload but you wake up the next day feeling drained.
The star of this video (even though I didn't notice her at the time) is the middle aged Asian woman who puts the T into the word tourist. But she seems to be having such fun. I am almost envious. And I swear a man pumps his first after the parade has passed, as if the sight of Goofy has got him all riled up for the day.
Other than that our day at Magic Kingdom went a bit squiffy - we went on It's a Small World which is cutsey ah and well done, lined up for Peter Pan's Flight, gave up on Peter Pan's Flight due to a nice combo of humidity, long waits and the body swear of fellow liners uppers.
I got almost as pumped up as scary parade man when I secured a fast pass for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, only for the heavens to open and the roller coaster ride to be postponed "indefinitely," although I'm assumed it has opened by now.
So we trudged back in torrential rain and thunder, soaked to the skin in the one Disney kingdom where no alcohol is served, sober up in the knowledge we had only seen half of the park and gone on one ride.
To be grudgingly continued...