Thursday, August 29, 2013

Odd Woman : North West Camp Ground, Chesapeake

It's probably the nature of odd people that you can encounter them at the most unexpected time. I could cope better, I feel, if some guy jumped out of the trees with a bid Odd Person Alert placard so as I knew what to expect beforehand. It doesn't seem to happen, though.



Earlier this week I took my daughter camping. It wasn't really out of any love of camping given my recent experience of deflating air mattresses and cicadas the size of nuclear reactor rabbits. But it was better than another 5 day working week.

In reality this meant being dragged to a playground at 7.20 a.m. and forced to sit on a see saw in a decaffeinated state that was bound to result in abject grouchiness.

I ambled over to the toilet block for the hell of it and encountered a large, glassy eyed woman near the entrance. Fortunately, she didn't seem to notice me. Like I said her eyes were glassy.

Instead she was having a conversation with a man inside the men's room.

"Frank. Aw Frank," she drawled in an accent that sounded a bit like she was from New York. "We've lost the bag of souvenirs. Did ya hear me Frank? All of the souvenirs have gone."

I felt like interjecting at this point to mention a large Souvenir Snake had been recently spotted in the vicinity and was last seen heading west with an "I love Scranton" T shirt in its mouth.  I decided not to speak up.

Frank was heard muttering something inaudible in the shower.

"Ayee Frank. I can' believe it Frank. All of those souvenirs. Everything gone. Frank - the bag's gone," she wailed. "Everything gone. The souvenirs, Frank. Oh God, no."

Frank muttered again and her voice returned like the wail of rockets.

"Waa waa Frank. What the hell can I do. I don't know what to do."

To my amazement the woman was actually weeping. I felt like suggesting she go and watch some videos of the victims of a chemical weapons attack in Syria.

Frank continued to mutter. He may even have broken wind and finally she went away.

Then I heard him mutter the word "shit," over and over.

I walked away thinking I might have bags under my eyes and be facing a morning of paddle boat and crazy golf blackmail. But I was blissfully happy in the knowledge I was not Frank.

21 comments:

  1. It's 11:34PM and I'm laughing out loud, too, too funny. Love visiting your blog! Poor, poor Frank, thank god the snake got away though! LOL

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    1. Ha thanks Yolanda - poor hapless Frank eh.

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  2. I'm glad I'm not Frank or the woman, or the lost souvenirs for that matter. I hope you had fun camping and brought back some souvenirs, though.

    Have a great Friday and weekend, David.
    xoRobyn

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    1. thanks my only souvenirs were memories of Frank, Robyn - hope you have a good one too xo

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  3. LMAO....

    I can't wait to go camping in November!

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  4. the movie fifty shades of grey
    Kristen Stewart has finally responded to rumors that she's a favorite to play
    Wow! she's beautiful no matter what you do ...try her with robert it looks cool i'm sure...

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  5. Actually I feel bad for her b/c I'd be devastated too if all my souvenirs were lost....

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  6. Oh man, that would suck. But to bawl over it? Yikes. I hope their marriage isn't on the rocks because of it! It sounds like it might be!

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    1. sounds like the usual old routine Jen :)

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  7. Bwahahaha. I'm just glad I don't have such serious issues as a lost souvenir bag going on!

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    1. god how would you cope Mandy? Couldn't go on - right?

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  8. I wonder if Frank dropped them in the loo?

    Or he was pondering the luck of those souvenirs.

    I feel so badly for him! Hilarious to boot.

    :)

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    1. poor sod had a resigned voice like he was used to a wife who was nuts Deborah

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  9. Ha! I reckon frank was flogging them half price in the shower!

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    1. oh yeah Juliette - have him a buck for a tacky T short

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  10. Oh dear. Poor Frank. I'm glad I'm not him either. Thanks for the laugh! :)

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