Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Facebook Stereotypes - Part 2

Once upon a time back in the mists of time I wrote a piece about Facebook stereotypes. I think it's probably worth a follow-up because I have spotted more. Also it's so long since my last post that nobody would remember if I wrote the same things.



I'd say the novelty of the social network wore off back in the day, but we still go on there out of habit and to see what other boring things other people are doing out of habit. Who knows - maybe nuns go on there out of habit. It's become the 2012 virtual equivalent of a bathroom break. You don't enjoy it but you can't help it. Oh and the more pals you have on there, the more boring the everyday content becomes. Here are some more stereotypes.

1 - Blooming baby busters - yes the first time someone posted an ultrasound pic to announce to the world they were pregnant it was original. Not any more. And really I don't care to have an update every three days on 'my baby's progress' - just pop it out and onto the next.

2 - Kiddiewinkers - Not content with ultrasounds you have to post every episode of your kid's life - I am not kidding in saying someone on my fb page today posted an update saying she had suppressed a fart out of consideration for her kid. What a hero. And what about posting all those pics of your kids because you believe they are the cutest kids in the world? Actually I am always posting pics of my kids - but that's because they are - right.

3 - Sports nut - Usually men, these people would be 'oxygen thiefs' if they were talking to you and are stealing bytes by giving a running commentary of games that I have no perception of the rules of and teams I have never heard of. Here's an example freshly purloined from my feed: "Great listening to Richard Justice on the Nats pregame show. He kept saying how much he wished the great Shirley Povich could see this team. Classy." Eh? what? who?

4 Needy Bint - The NB will give every spit and cough of her terrible day, explain how she'll never get a boyfriend and how she's going to bed at 6 p.m. with a copy of Shades of Grey. She'd have a better chance if she didn't spend all nigh whining on Facebook.

5 - Dogmando - Dog folks seem to get big into their pets on line. They'll even use a dog as their profile pic, which makes it easy if you go out to lunch with them. Order a big bowl of Chum.

6 - Corporate Overseller - These folks can get right on your nerves when you roll out of bed with a bad headache feeling totally unable to face another Monday, only to read their bright and breezy motivational message, along with a picture of them beaming in their car ready for their best day of sales ever. blech.

7 - Ex politicians - I am friends with a number of ex-politicos, sadly. These folks make me laugh because after a couple of years of seeing their sycophantic drivel about the best government ever, now someone else is running the show, their postings are bitter and twisted about the administration and completely negative even when the government is doing exactly the same thing as their party was doing before.


8 - Rude Girl - we all have a rude girl in our friends' list. Mine befriended me because she thought I was someone else - maybe someone ruder and with more hair. Typical posts include 'Come on Federer - beat that f... Scottish t...."

9 - Dead Person. It's a sad reality of social networking that we all have dead people as friends. I have one guy who falls into this category. It feels somewhat impolite to remove them. But when their birthdays appear, it doesn't seem right to wall them (or write on their timeline, as it's now called). Get very worried if they poke you out of the blue.

10 - Exes - this is a thorny one, but probably most of us have friends on Facebook who we have intentionally seen naked, and may even have gone out of our way to see naked, at one time or another. Mind you it's hard to equate them with that small profile pic and who hasn't felt a sense of relief when they suddenly post a larger pic and we realize we really wouldn't want to see them naked at all now?





15 comments:

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    1. Thanks Daft Scots Lass - is this something like 'official'

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  2. Hahaha...the lunch fresh into my tummy is threatening to escape if I don't quit laughing...I don't have any exes- politicians or otherwise on my list though...lots of gamers who will dump me overnight if I deleted the game applications.

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    1. lol Rek - get some exes and ex politians on there.

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  3. I only have gamers and classmates on facebook, gamers who are from China, Belgium, Britain, etc. I think I've only talked with one. And my best friend because he's in Canada now. Luckily no politicians or dead people, though a couple of my classmates are very much into animal protection and their pictures of cute dogs followed by horribly murdered dogs are almost as unpleasant as the baby basters/ kiddie winkers.

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    1. ooo can do without horribly murdered dogs, Starla - I don't have many gamers on there - must be missing out.

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  4. LOL, especially at #9.

    Gah, the types that really get on my nerves on Facebook are the Motivational Posters (every frigging post is "inspiring" - except it's all BS: "Everything happens for a reason!" "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!" Yeah, right; piss off.), the Ranters who post link after link about every possible outrage and injustice in the world (the world sucks, I totally get that! Now quit reminding me!), and last, the Religious Extremists, from the Holy Rollers who are all "Praise Him for that green light!" to the atheists who relentlessly mock believers of all stripes and cast every evil in the world at their faith's doors.

    ::pauses for breath::

    OK, I'm done now.
    Some Dark Romantic

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    1. Think I'll just agree with everything there, Mina - there is someone who posts pics every day of herself in her car with a big beaming face going to make sales (like I give a flying)

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  5. Well I LOVE Facebook and I do enjoy the positive posts. I did have to unfriend a total drama queen b/c I was sick of everything going wrong in her life, 24/7/365. What I'm sick and tired of are the abused animal posts. I call that 'misery porn'. Preachin to the choir. And if it wasn't for FB, I'd never have the amazing new life I have now. Russell never would have found me; he didn't know I'd moved to the west coast. So yeah, I owe A LOT to that website.

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    1. that is too funny - Misery Porn could be a new genre of novel I'm thinking. No sex ever happens - just frustration and angst. Well that's good for you re Russell.

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  6. #9 is true, yet utterly hilarious. Thanks for the laughs, David. This was a great post. I couldn't think of a category you missed, but I see that others did. Their comments are stellar too.

    xoRobyn

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    1. I know Robyn, I think I did miss some categories, always glad to entertain lol

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  7. Thanks for the laughs, David. You got my day off to a great start! I dumped FB eons ago and Twitter followed a couple of months ago -- just couldn't take it any more. Okay, I'm a wimp, but I'm lovin' it!

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    1. hmm not sure I could live without social networks Kitty - may be pleasantly surprised tho

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