Thursday, July 26, 2012

The damning verdict on Kristen Stewart by Twilight's biggest fan

I'm not sure if I've ever been a real fan of anyone or anything in particular. Real fans are scary. They are borderline stalkers, probably. Real fans are people like Emma Clark who act like they are part of their idol's lives.

Clarke goes by the name of Nutty Madam. When you watch this video, you'll see she's 120 percent macadamia. She's apparently one of the world's biggest fans of Twilight. And when you're watching a video that starts with the immortal words "I said I wasn't going to make a video about this," you know you are about to watch a road wreck.





I have no idea what Twilight is. It's a generational thing. I can tell you a fair bit about Doctor Who. Anyway Twilight appears to be something to do with vampires and it features Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, who are apparently photogenic young people who were also dating and were as compatible as Tom and Katie and Hugh and Liz etc. until Kristen was caught getting steamy with married director Rupert Sanders.

This is clearly the biggest scandal of the moment but I'm having problems getting scandalized because

A - I have no idea who Stewart is but I don't think she's related to Rod.

B - Sanders is a Brit. What do you expect.


Except Nutty Madam hasn't taken it well at all in her latest YouTube rant. "Why would you cheat on Robert Pattinson, she wails on the edge of tears.

Then Nutty Madame gets even more scary in warning people to leave them alone.

She just wants everyone to back off.

“You wouldn’t walk into a shop and ask the sales assistant ‘Hey, when is the last time you crapped?’ because it’s inappropriate, that’s someone’s personal information,” says Clark.

Clark is plain old bonkers frightening and she's already been featured in the Daily Mail and threatens to go viral. In a funny way she's got what she wanted. She's already a part of the lives of those she obsesses about.

There's something else that scares me about her. She sounds like she's English. In fact she could have been at my high school. Never turning in her essays and flunking everything she tried her hand at. Until a video camera made her more famous than everybody else. Look out for her on Big Brother #567

10 comments:

  1. I didnt' watch the vid b/c my boyfriend is watching a movie. Personally I don't see how anyone thinks Robert Pattinson is good looking at all. And they are so young...did people really think they were going to last forever? Twilight is so not my thing anyway. Vampires aren't supposed to sparkle. "I am a sparkly vampire. Fear my glitter. Rawr." lol

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    1. yeah good point JoJo - I prefer vampires, like scary. you should watch the vid tho for a chuckle

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  2. Yep, she's quite nutters. And she's clearly English, which makes this even more unbelievable. Sorry, David. But it's a bit relieving that not all the macadamias are US natives.

    PS I don't know who Kirsten (er Kristen) is either.

    xoRobyn

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    1. Oh you also think she is English Robin (big sigh) - I can't even pass her off as Irish.

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  3. Why oh why? Why do we care? I'm sad about all of it. Only because it is saturated into my life somehow and always.

    The video is very entertaining though I have to say!

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  4. Well Rob is English too, played the nice character Cedric in Harry Potter 4...so it's an English nutcase cribbing about an English BF being dumped for an English married man. What I can't understand is the fascination of nubile, millionaire actresses falling for married men...guess, you have to be an ex wife to know they aren't worth losing an upcoming, teen heartthrob BF to.

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    1. spoken like a true ex wifey Rek - oh Pattinson is English? (shows how much I know)

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  5. I'm torn; I *want* to watch the video, I'm *afraid* to watch the video...gah, what to do, WHAT TO DO?!

    ::sighs:: Is it really that bad, Dude? 'Cause if it is, I'm not sure I can watch it.
    Some Dark Romantic

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    1. yes it really is that bad Dude and yes you HAVE to watch it...

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