I'm not sure if I've ever been a real fan of anyone or anything in particular. Real fans are scary. They are borderline stalkers, probably. Real fans are people like Emma Clark who act like they are part of their idol's lives.
Clarke goes by the name of Nutty Madam. When you watch this video, you'll see she's 120 percent macadamia. She's apparently one of the world's biggest fans of Twilight. And when you're watching a video that starts with the immortal words "I said I wasn't going to make a video about this," you know you are about to watch a road wreck.
I have no idea what Twilight is. It's a generational thing. I can tell you a fair bit about Doctor Who. Anyway Twilight appears to be something to do with vampires and it features Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, who are apparently photogenic young people who were also dating and were as compatible as Tom and Katie and Hugh and Liz etc. until Kristen was caught getting steamy with married director Rupert Sanders.
This is clearly the biggest scandal of the moment but I'm having problems getting scandalized because
A - I have no idea who Stewart is but I don't think she's related to Rod.
Except Nutty Madam hasn't taken it well at all in her latest YouTube rant. "Why would you cheat on Robert Pattinson, she wails on the edge of tears.
Then Nutty Madame gets even more scary in warning people to leave them alone.
She just wants everyone to back off.
“You wouldn’t walk into a shop and ask the sales assistant ‘Hey, when is the last time you crapped?’ because it’s inappropriate, that’s someone’s personal information,” says Clark.
Clark is plain old bonkers frightening and she's already been featured in the Daily Mail and threatens to go viral. In a funny way she's got what she wanted. She's already a part of the lives of those she obsesses about.
There's something else that scares me about her. She sounds like she's English. In fact she could have been at my high school. Never turning in her essays and flunking everything she tried her hand at. Until a video camera made her more famous than everybody else. Look out for her on Big Brother #567