Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Au naturalized

I am pleased to report I survived my naturalization test and am now well on the way to becoming well and truly naturalized.

I had expected a large room with a small official on a power kick, which is pretty well much what I got except for the fact the room was also small.

But I'm not going to be too critical before I know if  I have been accepted as a citizen of this great and upstanding nation.

Still I am already adopting the US mindset and am considering installing a large star spangled banner in the front garden; and we're not talking about the Confederate flag with a full sized replica of General Robert E. Lee, either. No siree.

I aced all of the questions with one small hitch. I blurted out that the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 14, 1776, before correcting myself. But not before the official could quip: "Aha Bastille Day"  squinting at me through narrowed eyes that suggested he suspected I was an accursed Frenchman while his nostrils twitched as he sought to pick up the smell of garlic.

He then pulled a velvet curtain shut, produced a pendulum and proceeded to hypnotize me.

"Cast out all impure thoughts of red phone boxes, muffins, corgis and warm beer," he intoned in a low, lulling voice.

As soon as I learn I'm in, I'm going off to celebrate with an ice cold Miller Lite. Just one mind and not at lunch time (obviously).

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